Working Hard and Hardly Working

Bishop: This piece is called the “bishop.” A religious leader fighting in the king’s army. I feel this is improper.

Queen: This is the “queen,” the most powerful piece. A feminist statement? Or an unfair deification of womanhood?

King: The “king.” A weak good-for-nothing figurehead. Has no real power, is only a burden on the tax-paying citizen.

Pawn: This piece is supposedly a “pawn,“ but based on it’s diminutive size, I fear it’s an actual child solider.

Rook: Despite obviously being a tower, referring to this piece as such will get the whole chess club laughing at you.

Knight: Called the “knight” but it is clearly a horse. Presumably the king knighted a horse like some kind of madman.

Season 1: Traumatized researcher uses skepticism as a coping mechanism

Season 2: Area man does quickest 180 from skepticism into paranoia, predictably makes everything worse 

Season 3: Local murder suspect kidnapped far too many times 

Season 4: Resident demigod too busy pining after coworker to stop the apocalypse 

Me: but i haven't even told anyo...

It’s only manipulation when it’s intentional/premeditated. Otherwise it’s just your words having an influence on someone, i.e. The Concept Of Human Interaction.

Sometimes that influence is good, sometimes bad. But never malicious.