je pense

i hate that the common trope with vampire romance is an old ass immortal man falling for a teenager, like find yourself a milf like the rest of us bro

None of you ever think to thank the giant woman twerking to make the wave pool work and it shows

You mean the moon???

how do people have consistent fun at parties . like don’t they get hit with periodic waves of debilitating melancholy and subsequently need to sit outside and think abt how they’re going 2 die alone . or is that just me and the guy from the National

All four of my car’s tires got stolen and rather than call AAA or the police, i sat in the middle of a deserted road and waited for Spider-man to show up and when he did, he just quietly stared at my car and then whispered, “What the fuck am I supposed to do here?”

the only valid corporate twitter account is merriam-webster

And sparknotes. Don’t forget sparknotes.

give us some sparknotes screenshots then

If they hate then let them hate and watch the money pile up

The Lady of the Lake is pretty chill. Her cousin, the Witch of the Waterfall, is a little less sociable.

You get a sword but you won’t like where

the fact that phones dont have little charm loops in them anymore only goes to show that humanity as we know it is on the decline

dont ask me what tf im talking about. i dont know ok? im just the vessel. the message has been gifted. i‘ve moved on

me when i receive feedback from professors on my essays