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if i look back, i am lost

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Retrogade Planets
People born with natal retrodgrade planets can spend more time in self reflection, ensuring that the qualities of the sign have been satisfied on a deeper, more spiritual way. Retrograde planets take a backward step and spend longer in the sign and house. As the Earth passes the planet in orbit it appears to go backward. From the point of view of the horoscope, it does move backwards. Psychologically, this means the planet is going to reverse direction and go back over area it has just crossed.
Mercury retrograde:
Is this information valid?
Do my thoughts match up with my inner values?
Is this the right occasion to share my thoughts?
Do I need to be alone to figure this out?
Do I need to gather more information?
Venus retrograde:
- Does this person reflect my value systems?
Did I react appropriately to the social situation?
Do my actions really reflect my morals?
Was how I acted fair?
Did I treat that person correctly?
Mars Retrograde:
- Was that the right outlet for my energy?
What am I really desiring?
Why was I/am I so self destructive?
Why is that fear holding me back?
Why did I feel the need to be defensive on that occasion?
Jupiter Retrograde:
- What are my spiritual desires?
How do I develop self control?/why do I deny myself pleasures?
What was the meaning behind that?
What is the universe trying to tell me?
C.
let me be the one that you choose tonight

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I Know It’s Over - The Smiths
https://www.instagram.com/p/BF-LbzvGnpi/
dom/sub explanation
dominant and submissive tendencies in bed and in relationships can be astrologically explained in two ways: both by lilith and by moon. the first way (moon) can be explained simply; the person whose moon comes FIRST in the order of the zodiac would be dominant. (aries moon w/ a libra moon, then the aries moon is dominant) the second way (lilith) isn’t as simple. the lilith, or dark feminine side of your sexuality, can lean more towards dominant or submissive. for each sign, it usually tends to be as following- aries: dominant taurus: dominant gemini: dominant cancer: submissive leo: dominant virgo: submissive libra: submissive scorpio: dominant sagittarius: submissive capricorn: dominant aquarius: submissive pisces: submissive

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Warning: NSFW
I read somewhere that often, your past traumas, whether they be psychological are not, are displayed when you are doing sexual relations with someone. This is why some people often view sex to be a very intimate activity. Everything, perhaps things you didn’t even realize you’ve hidden, are revealed to another person. These things can often be the hidden, subconscious pains we hide to survive.
This is not to say that sex is strictly an intimate activity. It can most certainly be a fun, light-hearted activity. More on that later.
The 4th House is not just the house that displays your upbringing and past. It’s the house that often shows how we try to cope. The 4th House represents the shell of protection we create to weather the volatility of the world. It shows how we work to stay safe in an unsafe world. While this can manifest in the home, it can also manifest in our coping mechanisms. When we try to cope, we try to make ourselves feel at home in a place that isn’t home at all.
However, when our coping mechanisms fail, we often face trauma and pain we don’t know how to deal with. People often try to hide this trauma, but this trauma can either bubble inside our subconscious in a dormant, unknown state, or sneakily slip out to others through projections. Our failures in coping and past traumas are displayed in the 4th House as a possible negative energy. These past traumas are often environmental. This energy is often shown in the bedroom.
But can’t sex be fun and light-hearted? Yes, it can. From the 4th House to the 5th House, these past traumas are moved from the dark, cold cave, to the warm spotlight. These traumas are often “hidden” or twisted so that there isn’t a heavy atmosphere in the bedroom. There’s only fun and enjoyment - there’s no room for revealing your pain or traumas. There’s only room for a good time, and nothing else.
The 8th House at this point would be the intimate sexual environment. This is the environment where the masks are taken off, and vulnerability is revealed. The past traumas are out in the open. There’s so many chances to hurt, but also so many chances to heal. This is why the 8th House is a place of transformation. It is a place to transform by revealing your pains and weaknesses, and healing them to become strengths and passions. This transformation can also be done without sex. Sex isn’t everything.
Earlier, it was stated at in the 8th House, the masks are taken off. When are the masks put on? In the 7th House. The 7th House rules our one-on-one interactions. It is the gate that locks the 8th House. It is the testing ground, the deciding factor on whether the sexual experience will fall into the fun, light-hearted 5th House or the intense 8th House. Once there is enough information, a judgment will be made.
Finding where the Moon is in your natal chart can help you locate how and why you feel the way you feel about certain experiences in your life. Pluto in your natal chart can help you how you can gain power to transform the current circumstances for the better or worse.
Favourite Films-Part 1:
Valerie and her week of Wonders (1970)- VIRGO
UFO museum in Roswell
Henry Fuseli, Lady Macbeth seizing the Daggers, exhibited 1812. Oil on canvas. Tate.

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