i love friends to lovers as a trope, but like: yes because of the pining, because of the knowing each other, because of the of course it's you, it's always been you, but also just—the way it's, when done well, unconditional. the way it's yes I love you but it doesn't quite matter whether as friends or as partners as long as you're in my life, the way it's quietly intimate, how any possible tension will be rationalized easily, how ideally even when they think it's unrequited, it doesn't quite matter because that's still the person you know best and who knows you best no matter fucking what. the love is there but its romantic aspect is almost secondary. and YET. it's also the most agonising thing to have All This and keep that secret, keep it right under your skin, selflessly selfish, unable to talk about it with the person you want to tell first, always. while part of you keeps hoping and hoping and hoping. and it won't change anything if that hope falls flat except for how it aches. show-stopping spectacular never has missed in the history of ever, etc etc