Hi Bish

Have you read Squirrelflight’s Hope? If not then to get a full understanding of this I would highly recommending doing so so you can fully have context for a majority of what makes Bramblestar abusive.

Before I give a quick explanation I would also highly recommended watching “Bramblestar is Worse” by Moonkitti since that will explain the whole thing a lot better and in a lot more detail than I can achieve here.

Ok so basically, in Squirrelflight’s Hope Bramblestar’s behaviour towards Squirrelflight is straight up abusive, to the point where it even recontextualises some of their past arguments and interactions from what many people previously saw them as. To give a quick summary in Squirrelflight’s Hope Bramblestar and Squirrelflight disagree on how to resolve a land dispute and they argue - a lot. The fact that the are arguing isn’t the issue itself (even though it does really make the book drag, they argue for 4 pages straight at one point iirc), the issue is how Bramblestar behaves. And before I begin I just want to say it’s been a while since I have last read this book - it is not my intention to get anything wrong so if I do I promise it’s not intentional and I would appreciate knowing so I can make an edit.

He gaslights her- in Squirrelflight’s Hope he is constantly forcing her to question her judgement, he tells her that the Sisters are bad (despite not actually knowing them while Squirrel does) and tells her that she is a disloyal clan cat and that she has bad judgement. Due to this Squirrelflight begins to question herself more and more as the book goes on. To the point where she questions whether she belongs in ThunderClan anymore.

He exerts authority over her in a way that is inappropriate on both a personal and professional level- He forces her to run every single decision she makes by him, no matter how small or trivial. If she doesn’t comply he threatens her with demotion. She literally has no freedom to perform any of her usual duties. She wants to send out a hunting patrol? Bramblestar has to know and he has to approve who she wants to send. This isn’t normal. The point of a deputy is to do all this stuff so the leader doesn’t have to. Deputies should never need to do this unless it’s a battle patrol or something. He is punishing her. He even tells her at one point not to speak during a gathering iirc. That’s her right. Every clan cat should have the right to speak at a gathering. He takes that away from her.

He ostracises her - For a large period in the book he will not speak to her at all, no matter how hard Squirrelflight tries to engage in conversation with him, he will only talk to her when he’s giving her orders. This isn’t some little spat where he just won’t talk to her for an hour or two. This goes on for days. At one point he even refuses to speak up in her defence when the other Clans begin calling her a traitor at a gathering . He just watches. She is his deputy, she is his wife. Even if you are arguing with your spouse I assume you wouldn’t just stand there and watch as your rivals publicly ridicule and attack her. This isn’t normal.

He emotionally manipulates her - Early on in the book Squirrelflight expresses an interest in having more kits and poses the question to Bramblestar. Once she realises he doesn’t want anymore she decides to drop it and not press it further even though it does upset her (she tries not to let this show). In the book Bramblestar keeps bringing up kits in emotionally charged situations as a way of manipulating her, as well as bringing up other things like her supposed disloyalty and love for the sisters over her clan as a way to manipulate her.

Also there’s the entire scene where Squirrelflight is trying to get a dying cat some treatment, Bramblestar refuses to allow this dying cat to receive treatment by physically forcing himself between the dying cat and Leafpool, and then has the audacity to ask Squirrelflight “Why are you doing this to me?”

I didn’t think of that before, I love it

we care so much because the way squirrelflight’s abuse is written is so realistic to real-life abuse that irl survivors of abuse can point it out and resonate with squirrelflight as an abuse victim. and terrifyingly enough, so many people have been able to compare their abusers bramblestar and his beliefs. his control and anger issues, his manipulation and violence. his behaviours may be fictional but the concept of abuse, and even bramblestar’s type of abuse specifically, are far from fictional.

we care so much because it’s almost.. scary? how careless kate cary has been with the handling of bramblestar’s abuse. at first she dismisses it, acts like it never even happened. acts like squirrelflight and bramblestar have been on equal playing ground their entire relationship. then she admits bramblestar was abusive, in squirrelflight’s hope. but she acts like that was the only time bramblestar has ever been abusive towards her when we know, as readers, that’s blatantly untrue. that bramblestar has always been abusive to squirrelflight for the entirety of their romantic relationship.

it’s scary because kate cary, one of the authors of both the warrior cats main series and the super editions squirrelflight’s hope, isn’t a fictional character. she’s a real person, who has an influence on many young impressionable people, who learn how to handle many real life situations through reading fiction starting at a young age.

we all know fiction impact and effects the way we view and experience reality. we, as readers, are basically told several times through the warrior cats series to apply our world’s morals to the book about religious battle cats. we know fireheart in series 1 is in the right to help others. we know squirrelflight was in the right to help the sisters, to protect their kits and queens. we know this because we apply our morals to the text we’re reading. it’s definitely not a coincidence that people who are horribly misogynistic in real life agree with squirrelflight’s mistreatment, or bramblestar’s actions.

Tips for getting drinks-

1. ALWAYS GO TO THE BAR TO GET YOUR OWN DRINK, DO NOT LET STRANGERS CARRY YOUR DRINKS. This is an opportune time for dropping something into your cocktail, and you’re none the wiser.

2.IF YOU ORDER SOMETHING NON-ALCOHOLIC, I promise you, the bartender doesn’t give two shits that you’re not drinking cocktails with your friends, and often, totally understands that you don’t want to let your guard down around strangers. Usually, you can just tell the bartender that you’d like something light, and that’s a big clue to us that you’re uncomfortable with whomever you’re standing next to. Again, we see this all the time.

3. If you’re in a position to where you feel uncomfortable not ordering alcohol:

Here’s a list of light liquors, and mixers that won’t get you drunk, and will still look like an actual cocktail:

X-rated + sprite = easy to drink, sweet, and 12% alcoholic content. Not strong at all, usually runs $6-$8, depending on your state.

Amaretto + sour= sweet, not strong, 26%.

Peach Schnapps+ ginger ale= tastes like mellow butterscotch, 24%.

Melon liquor (Midori, in most bars) + soda water = not overly sweet, 21%

Coffee liquor (Kahlua) +soda = not super sweet, 20%.

When I was a fresh bartender, I had a couple sitting in the corner, already drinking when I started my shift. They seemed like they knew each other really well considering how much they had their hands on one another. But I still came by and asked if they were okay. The man just waved me off while the woman said, “I need some water.”

The man laughed it off and told me, “She doesn’t need any water. She’s fine.”

She was not fine. Clearly. I decided I was going to cut the two off anyway and bring them some water. As I was filling up the glasses, I heard the woman say, “Stop. I said no. I don’t feel good.”

Her tone and attitude changed instantly. She kept pushing his hand away when he reached for her face, turned her head away when he tried to kiss her. Loudly told him, “Stop. I’m done for tonight.”

So I made sure to refill her water the moment she finished it, and I stayed within earshot of them the whole night. And every time I did, the man got mad at me, told me to leave them alone. Their friends were there, surrounding them and told me that those two always fought when they were drunk and apologized, so I relaxed a little. But the last time I refilled her drink, I heard a loud crash.

She fell out of her stool and hit her head on the floor. And he calmly drank his drink. Their friends didn’t even blink. I jumped over the bar to tend to her and he just said, “Don’t worry, I’ll take her home. She always ends up like this. She drinks too much.”

But it didn’t sound right.

Then the woman began convulsing.

I yelled for the other bartender to call 911 and when I did, the guy suddenly disappeared. I tried asking thr friends questions about him and they just blew it off as the woman being a black our drunk. And one of them said, “We’ll get her home. Don’t worry.”

But when thr EMTs showed up with the police, they all disappeared too.

A few days later the woman came with an attorney. She asked me and the other bartender who worked before me some questions. Turns out, she didn’t know any of those people. They weren’t her friends or her boyfriend. They had met that night, when the guy asked her if he could buy her a drink. At the hospital, they found traces of Rohypnol in her system.

The guy had Roofied her. And his friends were in on it.

The security camera footage showed he had put something in her drink when she left for the bathroom before my shift.