harestar my scrunkly

it won’t.

goldenflower not being able to look bluestar in the eye after tigerclaw is exiled. she knows deep down she’s not to blame, but the idea she was so infatuated with a man who would soon attempt to kill for purely selfish and evil reasons haunts her to her core.

goldenflower feeling hollow and yet so full of despair, like a rock sinking helplessly into the river, when she receives the news that it was because of tigerclaw’s betrayal and jealousy that her brother died in that battle. that his and rosetail’s deaths were completely avoidable, and that her past mate was the reason they happened.

goldenflower feeling a deep, burning hatred, one hot enough to burn a thousand forests to ashes, when she discovers that swiftpaw, her firstborn son, someone who tigerclaw seemed to get along with so well, was torn apart by the dogs that tigerclaw lead into the forest. that her baby boy never got to become a warrior after he waited so long and tried so hard, all because of him, makes her claws ache, desperate to sink them into that terrible man’s throat.

goldenflower feeling so incredibly guilty, a feeling akin to being crushed by a hundred stones, whenever she looks at brightpaw. such a sweet, beautiful girl. her son’s best friend. inseparable, the two of them were. she looks at brightpaw’s disfigured face, chewed and spat out like a rejected play thing, and yearns for the life that was ripped away from that poor girl.

golden watching her sister tirelessly treat brightpaw, forced to become a medicine cat after falling for a cruel trap left for bluestar and feeling so hopelessly lost and confused. why would starclan punish so many cats with tigerclaw’s treacherous greed? why did cinderpelt’s dreams have to be crushed so ruthlessly? why did brightpaw have to suffer? why did swiftpaw and lionheart and runningwind and brindleface and redtail have to die? why was she cursed to fall in love with a murderer? why?

goldenflower staring blankly at bramblepaw, the only piece of her heart she has left, as her brings her fresh kill and encourages her to eat. her daughter is gone, left her without saying goodbye to join her father, for a reason goldenflower will never understand. she can only hope her dear tawnypaw is still alive. bramblepaw is all she has left, and cruelly, as if another terrible joke from starclan, he looks like a spitting image of the man she once loved.