Squid Of Shame

Someone: Hey, are you there? I was just wondering if you’d like to-

Me:

but also; what does it look like to meet that house halfway and work to better it. can you renovate it? can you find the hurt and heal it? is it Horror if it can be Fixed? but not fixed like it never happened, but fixed like we reinforced the crack in the east wall of the foundation, we re-bricked the fireplace with respect to its original style, we found the rot and - as gently as possible - removed it, grafted new tissue, applied bandages. can you rehabilitate a haunted house, and offer it love? or is it prideful to even try - because all you’re doing is setting it up for more failure and heartbreak in the future, after you die and it goes uncared for, neglected, again?

-Zevran turning out to be the most devout in the party

-Sten challenging you to a beat down in front of a whole town of cultists giving you the evil eye and giving you approval points if you throw his ass to the ground.

-"Ah, insular communities. Always something nasty going on behind closed doors. I hope it involves chains. I hope they ask me to join."

-*seeing the bloody altar*

Zevran: oh hey this reminds me of my former employers

Morrigan: that's human blood. Like. All of a humans blood

Me:

-Sten, upon entering a library: ah, so Southerners do know how to read. I thought that was just a rumor.

-Zevran and Morrigan getting low-key pissed at the guardian dude for trying to nail you on guilt (Yes I Will Maintain Zevran Was Insinuating The Guardian Gets Off On This) and STEN being the one who comes through with a low-key comforting comment.

-three of the Maker's biggest idiots and One Tired Apostate trying to solve that bridge puzzle.

-*long dramatic montage of walking up to the urn of the LITERAL fantasy Jesus-Virgin Mary, easily the most influential figure in Thedas' history*

Morrigan, sarcastically: I'm in awe. Truly.

Sten: congratulations, you found a wastebin

Zevran: nice vase. I should get one for my house

Andraste's ghost:

- because I need something to distracted me from the pain ✌😙