SpringFire

'god damn I totally get why Hal reacted the way he did to Bolaire wearing Misha, considering what he knows of Bolaire; and why he was so unreceptive to all the accusations Bolaire made about Thjazi during the Convergence. His reaction was incredibly understandable from the perspective of a guy who is already fucking REELING from so many revelations about a man he loved'

AND 'I think Hal was horrified that Bolaire insinuated that because of Thjazi, Hal might technically be his owner if Thimble isn't, and given the history of the Orcs under Azgra, no wonder this instigated such a disgusted reaction.'

AND 'that doesn't make any of Hal's words justified. It was, in fact, incredibly fucked up that Hal IMMEDIATELY aggressively pinned Bolaire to a sofa rather than simply asking if Misha was alright; and was ONLY concerned with Thjazi hurting Misha, not Bolaire, when Thjazi swung for him; and was so dismissive of Bolaire when he was trying to talk openly for the first time about how Thjazi mistreated him and reduced him to an owned object, in front of a room of people who predominantly love & glaze Thjazi'

AND 'this clearly negatively impacted his relationship with Bolaire and I think Hal realised that and regretted it, when Bolaire was apologising constantly and promising to leave the life he had built with Hal at its centre, and when he specifically asked Azune to help him rather than Hal'

AND 'I think Hal has so much on his plate with the Creed and the incredible work he did with KoTher'ai, his fears for his family and his complex feelings for Thjazi, that it's completely possible that he won't acknowledge this for a long time'

AND 'I think they both need time apart so Bolaire can figure out who he is without Hal, and Hal can come to his own conclusions about whether their friendship was 'real' or not'

AND 'the revelation of how little Hal cares about Bolaire in comparison to other important people in his life (Thjazi, Misha) is going to be devastating for our fucked-up little mask guy who has codependently entangled their lives'

AND 'this will be very good for Bolaire in the long run if the Seekers become part of his wider friendship/support network, which will in turn be VERY good for Hal because their whole ish wasn't healthy in any way and Hal has enough going on that he genuinely can't give Bolaire the emotional support he needs right now'

AND 'I think this is all far more crunchy and interesting than if they had just spoken about their problems like normal people and hugged it out'

🌗 Many faces of Exandria 🌒

Every story leaves a face behind.

It's strange to think how many stories, laughs, tears, and unforgettable moments can fit into one world, and somehow still leave room for more.

120+ hours of drawing later (which is only about 30 episodes of Critical Role 👀) here’s my tribute to the world of Exandria. 3 campaigns, all guest characters over 10 years of streaming and a moon full of villains.

Welcome to our fair city. I hope that you enjoy your stay.

Look, we all know that Liam is going to drop a devastating backstory reveal at some point; Hal is the brain child of CR's resident moody, emo, sad-boy, there is SOMETHING there, I can feel it, but even from what we already know this Bard has been THROUGH it...

Hal has grown up in a turbulent household, been to war, dragged his brother from the edge of certain death (only to see him executed years later), built himself a life, before getting it potentially ripped away from him in the space of two weeks.

He's lost his brother, his continued freedom stands on a knife's edge, his theatre has been a success but has put his life in danger, his best friend has turned out to be a sentient mask who in the space of the last two weeks, not only confessed his hatred for Hal's late brother, but has also asked Hal to kill his host, and has taken host of at least 2 of Hal's friends, his son is missing, his ex-wife (admittedly very capable boss bitch of an ex-wife) is on her way out of the city ON HER OWN, his girls are both in danger, he is being hunted by Yanessa fucking Halovar...

This man has been through so much in such a short space of time and is already getting flashbacks and is spacing out (Liam's description of Hal blanking out before going into the sewers has been living in my head, rent-free).

I have been thinking about how much trauma Orym came out of everything with, and how it was built up over years and years, and how Caleb's response to trauma was to shut down to protect himself, only Hal is actively getting WORSE not better, and how the parallels between the three of them keep showing up.

Don't get me wrong, Hal isn't at Caleb or even Orym levels of trauma YET, but comparatively, its heading that way, and yet, I place his trauma response closer to Caleb on my 'Orym to Caleb' scale of 'How Emotionally Broken is Liam's Character this Campaign?'.

Occtis clocked Bolaire as part of the Panto

When Bolaire clarifies that he is one of six masks, Occtis goes "Oh! Those masks."

Do all the Tachonis know about the Panto? Or is this something Occtis found on his own by being a nerd?

We were pretty clearly informed when Hal went to the Grey Library that even hints of the Panto aren't all that available even when you know what you're looking for.

So how does Occtis know? Or what does he think he knows to identify Bolaire as those masks?

A lot of Bolaire’s petulant behavior through episode 31 makes a lot more sense if viewed as what a 14-year-old’s perspective would be:

Theater is the best thing in the world because it woke me up and freed me.

A lot of People deserve to die, and I’m gonna stoop just as low when I murder them because they deserve that too.

I work at a museum collecting Things that no one deserves to have, and I’m a Thing, so I deserve to be in charge of the rarest Things.

Thjazi is mean to me because he hates Things and hates me. He ruins Things. He’s trying to ruin me. He taught me what hate is.

It’s a long shot that Thjazi’s actually gonna die because he’s totally got a plan like he always does, but there’s st— oh, shit. LOL

At least the funeral is an excuse to visit my best friend and his awesome family. They’ll get over it.

Thjazi broke a bunch of Things to make an empty freezer with a portal to the underworld. He’s awful.

My friend joked that she’d push me into the freezer to the underworld, and I told her I’d have killed her. We laughed because we’re cool.

I’d totally do it, though.

She and the rest don’t know that I fight tyranny because I’m a living weapon, and no one can know or else they’d lock me up, that’s why I have a secret identity and a secret lair full of cool Things.

Okay, you can know my secret identity and see my secret lair full of cool Things because we’re friends.

Also, Thjazi sucked guys. He totally did.

I’m gonna stop People from taking Things and talking because what if they’re bad. Power Word: shut up.

A Person that became a Thing? Come back to town so we can be best friends I can show you the ropes.

All this bad stuff happening is Thjazi’s fault.

Give me some teenagers to help make a mess in my museum because someone is trying to take Things away from me it.

I’m gonna 1v1 this Big Bad in the sewers because I’m worse than them and also awesome.

My best friend is gonna kill this host and put me on a new host just like in a play he would write, omg, we’re so cool. (He doesn’t need to know that was unnecessary, he’s down for it because he’s cool.)

This is the best magician ever and the best imaginary friend ever. Oh, hell, stop messing with my room I love what you’ve done with the place.

Don’t forget that Thjazi sucked so much.

My best friend and I are gonna steal Things from my museum at night by ourselves because that’s cooler than just doing paperwork to give the Things back to their owners.

I’m gonna 1v1 this Big Bad sorcerer in my museum because I’m worse than them and also— oh, shit.

Big Sis is alive and that’s terrifying because I’ve been doing other stuff, but it’s not my fault because I’m clever and didn’t figure it out, so it must have been impossible. I did not forget to take the chicken out of the freezer, it wasn’t there when I looked, I swear.

Thjazi sucks guys, of course he had bad ideas and bad plans, I’m tired of keeping quiet. Fine, ignore me, whatever.

Fine, break a mask and be rude to me. I don’t need to see your stupid play. I bet it’s about Thjazi, so I wouldn’t like it anyway. Whatever.

I’m gonna go on a secret spy mission with Team Spy because I’m super cool and can fight the bad guys with them, just stick me o— who the fuck is this. Ew.

Oh, no, Big Sis got out of the freezer. Fuck. Oh, good, she didn’t see me.

WAIT, DON’T LEAVE.

Big Sis is terrifying, but she saved me because she loves me, and I can tell her the truth about everything because she loves m— oh no.

Do you love your brother? THEN CRY ABOUT IT.

MY MIND PLAYS AREN’T RIGHT.

Big Sis is mean to me because she hates me and I don’t have a family.

My best friend is mean to me because he hates me and my life is over.

Everyone is mean to me because they hate me and everything sucks now.

Whatever. Stick me in a box, I don’t care.

I wonder if it's a trauma response.

Hal grew up with a soldier for a father. Whatever happened within that family, we know violence and war shaped his childhood long before he ever stepped onto a battlefield himself. Then, while he was still little more than a child, he and Thjazi were thrown into Axe and Vine together. They saw horrors no child should ever witness, and Liam has already told us that Hal once pulled Thjazi from mud and blood on a battlefield.

War changed both of them.

So when people talk about Thjazi's violence, I wonder if Hal instinctively shuts down because acknowledging it would force him to confront something much bigger: that the war didn't just take his brother—it transformed him. And maybe it transformed their father long before that.

Accepting that would mean admitting that the people he loved were shaped, damaged, and in some ways consumed by the same cycle of violence.

Perhaps that's why Hal keeps trying to remember the brother he loved instead of the man everyone else is describing.

Not because he believes they're lying, but because hearing those stories tears open wounds that go all the way back to his childhood.

To his father.

To the battlefield.

To the little boy who couldn't save his family from becoming casualties of war long before any of them actually died.

Maybe that's why Hal shields himself from those conversations.

These two. These two. I swear to god, I am already sobbing so much and when Liam leans in on Aabria's shoulder and I just- aaaaaaah..... 🥺😭

I am a discombobulated puddle on the floor.

Bolaire saying to Hal the first opportunity he gets, three times like a fucking fairytale, "I'll be gone in the morning."

Bolaire completely dropping the Curator's accent and personality, because the role is at an end.

Bolaire saying twice that he had been mistaken in his dream about having a family, once for the Panto and maybe once for Hal and the Schemers.

Bolaire giving Misha the mental theatre experience he had been planning for Hal, with all his architecture books, paper models and talks with Demodus, because he is out of time and gone in the morning, and Misha *is* part of Hal's family, so it was kind of like giving the gift to Hal by proxy, and also maybe Misha would tell him the story of it.

Realising that Bolaire was so angry (frightened?) about Thimble leaving town way back when because he was like a dog left chained up in the backyard when everyone else had moved out, there was no one there to let him go.

Realising that Bolaire's relationship with Hal might have been the first equal relationship he'd had, right up until Thjazi took hold of Bolaire and made Hal part of his line of ownership.

Hal's immediate reaction to seeing Bolaire and Misha - full bardic voice, "this is Not A Thing" - demonstrating that despite everything he still doesn't really trust Bolaire, how it felt like a test imposed not by Bolaire but by the narrative and Hal *failed* and maybe that's when Bolaire knew he didn't have a family here either.

Hal watching how all these other people reacted to learning what Bolaire is for the first time, realising that Tyranny had known Bolaire for less than a day total but still put on the mask and was willing to vouch for him, how Mara's reaction to the revelation of Bolaire's identity was an apology and a promise that she'll protect him, how Azune immediately agreed when Bolaire asked if he would wear him to his apartment (and the pain on Hal's face when that offer wasn't made to him), how Misha talked about his lovely conversation with Bolaire.

Bolaire looking at Mara and recognising parts of himself, especially when she said that she was a soldier, and *then* seeing her keep pushing back loudly and assertively when people around her tried to attribute all of Thjazi's sins to her.

Thjazi never looked at Bolaire because he didn't *want* to see him as a person, because if he did then what he was doing was unconscionable.