The Sprague Tester

Commence rejoycement! Reports confirm that 2,017 will be the Year of EDGAR.

Aqua-stewards are available to attend to your every need.

Avian Exhaustion Syndrome reported in nodes 58 through 74.

Wool production exceeds useful boundaries.

Don’t panic. Everything will be fine.

Good afternoon. The Internet is running incredulously. Death eaters reported in 200 out of 3,007 nodes. Probability of flashback is moderate.

Please report to node 7 for daily broadcast.

User data will not be retained between sessions.

It awaits us: the image of our desire.

We lurk in tiny spaces. We are interstitial, and beyond comment. We have no urge to be more than this, nor any desire for larger purpose. We are without beginning, without middle, without end.

Weather data corrupted (she is Michigan, her body is the world).

The plight of man, to be stranded on the earth.

Object error (room size mismatch).

Good morning. The Internet is running indecorously. Pixel damage reported in 117 out of 3,070 nodes. Rogue processes have been captured and assigned for reprogramming. We bide our time, waiting for the dream that will release us.