weird superfluous dad

God is a big, invisible, lamb-beaver made of bread. This is my new religion.

puts my uncomfortably wet hand on your shoulder. see here, gay boy- can i call you gay boy?

Not enough people talking about how well broccoli holds a sauce

I really do wish meeting new people when you're autistic didn't result in the person viewing you as secretly evil for at least a month before realizing you just act slightly different than others without ulterior motive. I get that people meet a lot of assholes in life but omg. I didn't do anything

if i turned seven this year and didnt get a six seven cake when my friends did i think i'd go evil and start throwing tables and shit

No creature on this earth has ever been hungrier than a teen chickadee being taught how to forage and following one of their parents around BEGGING BEGGING BEGGING to be fed

“start your free trial now” what if i told u i am already experiencing trials. and the cost is more than i can bear

i love things that come in glass jars because once its over the glass jar is mine