DAGA KOTOWARU

Weißt du was? Fuck it *entspaßt dein Getränk*

My blog isn't a safe space btw. It failed the last TÜV inspection due to lack of handrails and Notausgangschilder

(walking down a street and not stepping in any needles, glass, rotten food, loose bags or bottles of piss) this whole damn place has gone to shit

Pirate’s booty, Pirate’s penis, Pirate’s balls. All treasure.

“Do dishes” and “take out trash” both require the use of a spell slot, vs “use phone” is a cantrip, and brother, I am a level one wizard

Hey kids, you need to start worrying a little less about getting “#mogged” and a little more about getting “#smogged”. This is an Air Quality Index public service announcement.

so cool how advanced the algorithm has become, it literally only takes like a decade or more of spying on all my internet activity and then it can expertly curate a selection of 15-20 youtube videos that i don't really want to watch, and then keep showing me those videos over and over again for a week so i can scroll past them again. the future is now

i just got the "see where your blood has gone!" email from giving blood but it glitched and just showed me my current location. which. theyre not wrong. that is where most of my blood is