the thing is, no one experiences plurality the same as you do. the sheer breadth of lenses every system sees themselves through is boundless, immeasurable. how you think, how you carry yourselves in mannerisms and speech, how you "front" or occupy headspace, or even if there's a personal concept of "headspace" at all!— it's all highly specific to the system, and figuring out how you operate is often a continuously-evolving journey of self-discovery.
while there are numerous common threads that weave through Most experiences of plurality, there's not really an existing "baseline" that encapsulates it all. i wouldn't say this is strictly a good or a bad thing, but i will say that for those of us who are harshly self-judgemental and are quick to discount the validity of our own experience (hi), having direct points to draw comparisons from can often be a harrowing experience! conversely, having none to draw from can also suck a lot!! it all can be confusing and scary, especially early on in your journey.
to give a personal anecdote: i have yet to find anyone describe or even articulate the exact way we "front". unlike seemingly most of our system friends, the lot of us are almost always present. there are no gaps in memory, as we're all aware and cognizant of our body and our surroundings at all times. our stye of thought/internal dialogue is very conversational in the way we play off of each other, (to the point where in the presence of others it almost feels... performative?) and this is reflected in how we speak through something like pluralkit, where we each have a name and picture to draw clear distinctions between each of us. this constant hot-swapping and fluid switching is something that has often been remarked as notable by other system friends.
however a lot of this tends to break down in irl actions, especially in conversation with others. it feels like the meat puppet has a mind of its own, saying and doing things that almost leaves us dazed afterwards, with all of us thinking "wait... which one of us said all of that?" sometimes there are obvious physical "takeovers" where one or two of us assumes more direct control, but more often than not we cannot simply attribute whatever the hell we're physically doing or speaking to any one of us. weirdly enough the effect is almost amplified if someone irl knows of our plurality, in which case most of us find it difficult to truly "speak" for ourselves. we each have our own distinct "voices" in headspace— pitch, clarity, inflection, speed, etc.— yet none of them sound like whatever the stupid meat puppet croaks out. it's dysphoria, simply put. in voice, frame, fashion, the list goes on.
internally, our plurality is natural and flowing. externally? stilted, awkward, almost feels fake and performative. embarrassing. dysphoric.
does any of this weird experience threaten the validity of our plurality? are we just a singlet that's faking it? well, no, not at all!!
(hell if anything it reinforces the dysphoria we each feel, of being unable to individually present ourselves in a way any of us is comfortable with!!)
however for burgeoning systems that are just beginning to get a grasp on understanding themselves, these sorts of discrepancies and oddities and things not oft heard from other systems are prime material to be burnt under the hot glare of a microscope. searching fervently to find terms and definitions for things, freaking out if they cannot find anything that describes their own experiences. i can't say i've seen a lot of systems bloom right before my eyes, but far too often i've witnessed plural friends continuously question themselves, and it just... sucks, to see them beat themselves up in such a manner.
i don't have anything profound for you here, only conjecture based on my own and friends' experiences. if you're unsure of yourself/yourselves, if you're unable to dig up existing account of an aspect of how you work, and find yourself deep in the throes of destructive self-interrogation:
bonks u on the head
congrats!! ur plural now. idiot.
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