Patron Saint of the Nothing

I just think they’d be bros is all, that’s it!

(Also the fact that their ‘hero’ names are just based off of or puns of their actual names- JACKson Overland FROST, DANNY Phantom!!! They are not hiding it guys)

Bro.

A Batman fanfiction called ‘Must Have Been the Wind’ about Tim Drake leaving Gotham to pursue self-betterment after realizing how badly the batfamily treats him. Dick was nice at first before Dick wanted to send him to Arkham for his ‘mental instability’ and Tim Drake is desperate for love from being so starved of it from his own family. He’s used to being treated badly, explains it away, and even expects it because he’s never known better in his life ever.

Bruce is always too late, for being a detective he is rather blind to actual problems until they have already occurred. He can solve a murder, but he can’t save anyone. He deals in facts, not sensitivities.

Alfred is either silent or an appeaser to both sides.

Dick tries to send him away to Arkham.

Jason tries to murder him.

Cass tried to murder him in the beginning, and even with their now good relationship she abandons him to go to Hong Kong when he needs her most.

Damian tries to murder him multiple times, actively antagonizes him, and still hates him.

I’d like to think he’s scared of anything else at first because he’s used to silently suffering, and something new is much scarier than something familiar. Tim thought it was normal, that his life with his parents and the Wayne’s was love, but ever the detective he starts to question things when he goes to Ives’ house. He has so many questions; like why do his parents ask about his day? Lean in close, rub his shoulder, look at him so affectionately? Playful arguments, laughing at the dinner table, helping each other with dishes, taking care of the other when they’re sick? Why do they want him when to Tim, children should only be around when they are needed without exception? To Tim, children are a necessity because they are expected, not wanted, because Tim is and feels unwanted so much and seeing a family acting like this..he gets a little emotional and confused.

He might act out, yell rage and scream, ‘why do your parents love you, but mine never did!??!!’ And cry while being hugged and soothed. Or he might watch on with scientific integrity, with no spoken opinion, only to politely ask Ives carefully formed questions later in the comfort of only his presence so no one else will be able to hear his voice tremble, see him break whilst his theories are confirmed. He has been abused. By both his parents and Bruce, and not in entirely dissimilar ways either which is probably why he didn’t notice. If Bruce hit him he would have said something, if Bruce touched him he would have went to Dick who would keep him safe, but Bruce hurts him with his inaction. He hold back on touch, love, affection, everything Tim has already been deprived of. Dick gives plenty of hugs, but it’s different from someone who’s supposed to be your father, it is something Tim has never experienced before and fears he never will.

So he leaves, keeps in touch with Ives who showed him what a loving family should act like and anyone else who he thinks would care (Kon, Bart, Cassie, even Duke!!), then disappears into the winds one day. No one notices for months, could even be years, it’s not like Tim is keeping track. At first though, he does. He dreads the fact he left immediately, starts counting the days from the first, hoping and wistfully wondering if one of them is frantically searching for him…but after a while those feelings fade away and he is left feeling utterly content in the knowledge that he got away before he became another dead robin. It was all he would have been in the end, no name, no Tim Drake, Tim Wayne, or just Tim.

He’d have been another faceless robin who died at a time when he should have been going to friends houses, going through puberty, going to parties, teenage angst, petty arguments, hate, love love love —having a life that didn’t revolve around covering up broken bones and bruises in time for school with 30 missing assignments cause he was too busy fighting crime— normal kid things. Instead, he was given two parents who were never around enough to care about him, and gained a brother and a father who only saw his dead successor in everything he did. It made him feel fake, a complete fraud, inhuman. He had to earn their love when he should have already had it.

Now he’s willingly lost everything to start over again, and he’s okay with that. Tim has accepted that sometimes you need to let things go to let other things in. Two steps back to take five steps forward.

Present day, Tim lives in a nice suburban neighborhood where everyone knows each other and the community is small but strong. The type of community where you’ll walk your dog and everyone who passes by will wave and ask about your day, even invite you to their house for dinner. It’s not what his parents would have wanted, but it’s what Tim wants and Tim doesn’t think he has ever had the chance to freely want something before coming here.

He’s not hiding either, he still goes by Tim Drake, Ives comes to visit him when he feels well enough to, Kon, Bart, and Cassie call weekly to talk about life sans superheroing. Even Duke visits in the evenings on weekends and sleeps over on saturdays before leaving late on Sunday because he’s got school tomorrow.

Anyone could find him anytime, but no one has—Dick, Jason, Cass, Damian, Bruce— because they don’t realize they lost him. One day they might finally understand, or attempt to make amends when they try to become better.

Bruce might hug him and say he loves him

Alfred might call him ‘dear boy’ and ask if he’s been eating

Dick might congratulate him for finding peace

Jason might apologize and make it up to him by cooking one of alfreds recipes

Cass might come home permanently and just lie down next to him, no words needed

Damian might pet his dog and call him Timothy

Though, for now Tim doesn’t worry about waiting because the only thing he’s waiting for everyday is walking his dog in the morning and talking to friends who love him. That’s all he needs.

God save me.

God won’t save me, I have no grace that will bring him here,

He defiles me with hands a God’s creation should never see so kiss my philtrum please.

I don’t think I ever want to remember what he did to me.

I breathe in the blood and tears of his beliefs,

My sin covering my entire body like a written letter on skin and between teeth.

He sends a message, it says

‘Don’t mess with me.’

God is fearsome when he is unforgiving.

After all, every living thing comes to an end.

Hopefully if I atone he’ll make me an Angel instead.

Putrid glossy black wings are my penance,

They mark me, saying that this boy is evil for not believing I’m here,