fantasy costco: where all your dreams come true

The “Alexa play [X]” meme was created in a lab by a team of marketing scientists paid $3 an hour without breaks or air conditioning by Jeff Bezos himself and if you don’t reblog any versions Alexa uploads your middle school fanfic history directly to the CIA.

this is so sad alexa assassinate jeff bezos

You ain’t at your lowest till you sit down in a standing shower

my great-grandfather had to leave italy in the 20′s because he hit a fascist with a tuba, so if you think I am going to take this sitting down you are going to have to catch these hands and also this tuba

a necromancer is just a really late healer

i like idea of a necromancer that can bring back the dead but doesnt know how to cure the living so has to wait for someone to die before bringing them back

when in doubt slap His ass

His is capitalized….are you talking about god’s ass?

are you in doubt? just slap His ass

i know what mbmbam stands for but every time i see it my brain goes “mmbmmmabmbmamam”