vic

Cider is like if beer transitioned and stopped hating herself

love a good before n after

Mountain weasel (Mustela altaica)

#it fucken sumny (via @mindfulwrath)

they should invent a body that feels normal to be inside of

BASED JOHN THE JERMA STAN

actually hate that the bodys response to anything is nausea. ate too much? nauseous. ate too little? nauseous. an imaginary threat got you scared? be nauseous. on your period? you guessed it. sawed into your hand and need to go to the emergency room? perhaps throwing up into your open wound will be of help

half of tumblr wants to fuck, the other half wants to die

i wanna fuck and then die

cicadas the lot of you

If I was hunting and I saw some gatherable berries, I’d be like. That’s none of my business

If I was a zookeeper, I would give a spare key to every animal somewhere inside the cage. If they can figure it out, they deserve it

Whales have a heart the size of a small car. Imagine if they learned the true meaning of Christmas

i could honestly talk about nurse crane for hours. she's the character of all time to me. she's a midwife, she's a vegetarian, she's a spinster, she has back problems, she loves her rolodex, she's a member of the institute of advanced motorists, she's an atheist, she loves to travel, she can speak spanish, she enjoys photography, she got to have a swing on a trapeze, she totally has something going on with miss higgins, she-

Ok let me get this straight: you cruelly remove my primary olfactory apparatus then smugly hold it between your fingers saying “got your nose!” and are now expecting to be forgiven because it was “satire”????