if you don’t know what’s going on on twitter it literally feels like the end of evangelion over there

i was not built for college but unfortunately i was also not built for anything else

i was especially not built to be employed

if i had a time machine, first thing id do is obviously kill hitler. even if germanys fascism was caused by complex socioeconomic factors itd still be worth doing for the bit. then id go even further back to the early 20th century and become one of those old timey bank robbers, when they had names like 'pretty boy floyd' and 'baby face nelson' and id make sure people knew me as 'sweet baby ray' just to see how it fucks with barbeque sauce history

i thinkyou should be allowed to tell customers that they are going to hell when they die.

the bad news is that my mom was sad that her eggplants haven’t been growing; however, it turns out that the reason her eggplants haven’t been growing is because her eggplants were actually spinach. The good news is that her spinach is growing very well. She was also sad that her peppers haven’t been growing either, but it turns out that the peppers were actually eggplant. And I’m happy to report that the eggplant is also growing very well.

one thing about me is im gonna get a coffee and a pastry