I stand with my cancelled wife

and yep, you guessed it: a dark wind blows

"wholesome" and "pure" are not antonyms of "sexual" btw

The eye doctor is the most fun doctor you can go to. They never steal your blood. They never make you get naked and put on a paper dress. They're just like, "Can you see these letters? It's fine if you can't, we can fix that." And they don't even spell anything.

i want a perfect buddy i want a perfect bro

If you see this you’re legally obligated to reblog and tag with the book you’re currently reading

It's bleed out and die thursday

i feel like i’m cursed forever but other than that i’m doing alright

if you're having trouble sleeping the best you can do is put a bright object close to your face and look at it for at least 30 minutes. if that doesn't work you can close your eyes but make sure to think really hard about a bunch of bullshit