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“Could you please, please, please, please just fucking fuck off, you have arrived during the worst sixty seconds of my life and I really don’t want to see you,” screams the curly-haired, rugged form of a young Colin Firth, adorned in a football jersey as he yells from the window of a London flat.

I hit pause and point at the laptop, smudging the screen with my finger, a toddler waving an accusatory digit at a long-suffering parent.

“That,” I say to my long-suffering girlfriend, the parent in this analogy.

“That is what it’s like to be a football fan.”

Of course, I’m showing her the classic Nick Hornby film Fever Pitch. The movie about a man whose life happiness depends entirely on Arsenal doing well. Luckily for everyone in this film they eventually do, as the rom-com is based on the team’s historic 1989 Division One title win. Your entire happiness depending on a football result… sound familiar?

England has been swept away in the national team’s success at this World Cup. Pubs have swelled with fans, beer spilling from their pints as they insist on chucking them as soon as a goal is scored, Gareth Southgate enthusiasts have dusted off waistcoats and donned the manager’s professional attire but most importantly the nation has crept closer and closer towards the full and unreserved belief that the ultimate can be achieved. Football will, in fact, come home and millions of fans will open their arms to gratefully accept it.

Well, obviously it is coming home. England are actually playing well, their defence is solid, they can score lots of goals. They look calm and content, people actually like the players, hell people who aren’t English have started to like the players. But there is a looming question that lurks in the deeper recesses of my mind. Crouching under bleak corners of self-doubt and in between the replays of terrible displays, shock exits, dreaded penalty endeavours.  It’s a question that poses a mind-shattering scenario: What if it doesn’t come home?

McGuire: The Leicester defender celebrates scoring England’s opening goal against Sweden. Source: TheMirror.co.uk.

I know, it’s something we dare not think about but it’s something that I think we really should.

The nation is so elated with our team, so happy and buoyant by the success of Southgate’s rag-tag of likable, renegade underdogs that there has genuinely been a lift in mood across old Blighty. Strangers hug in the streets, joined literally by a subtle look, a point and the words: “Is it coming home?” People are showing belief in the team, creating a great connection with the players through social media, re-kindling a love for the players that hasn’t been seen since the 1990’s. Stores are letting their employees go home early to watch the matches, celebrities and ex-players far and wide are contributing to a national hubbub that is zipping through us like an electric current, hell 62,000 people tweeted “It’s coming home” on Saturday as England cruised past Sweden into their first semi-final for 28 years. And none of them were joking. Well, they better not have been.

The main man: Gareth Southgate post-quarter-final victory. Source: ThePool.com.

But I ask, and I really hope, that even if, by some cruel twist of fate (or the boot of a foreign player that is a lot more skilled than ours) it doesn’t come home, that this unity, pride and happiness remains. Yes, be disappointed. Be upset. Wish that the dream could have been achieved but keep that pride, think about the success of this tournament. What it has done. How love has been rekindled from the fans, how the English team has bonded and built itself into a strong unit how Gareth bloody Southgate has suddenly become the world’s sexiest man without even trying. Remember the record-breaking Panama game, the actual penalty shoot-out win (that happened), reaching a semi-final of a world cup for the first time since Gazza wiped tears from his eyes at Italia 90.

Italia 90: Gazza kisses the England shirt as the Three Lions exit the World Cup in what became an iconic photograph. Source: NewsThump.com.

Remember how much this world cup has strangely, unexpectedly and wholeheartedly united us and remember this: that unity isn’t just dependent on football results. Life doesn’t have to be like Fever Pitch.

My girlfriend gave me a questioning look as the film resumed and Colin’s life hit its apex when Arsenal snatch the league win bringing the title to a close.

“So when your team lose, you’re sad Colin Firth?”

“Yes.”

But it doesn’t have to be like that.

By Emma Gant.

Following a successful crowdfunding campaign, a group of film students will be producing a short film detailing the struggles of an LGBT Japanese artists.

The Nail that Sticks Out is about Aiko, a controversial Japanese artist living in the UK and follows her life as she completes her latest collection.

The film raised over £4,000 in crowdfunding and received a grant from De Montfort University but the film’s creators say that more public funding needs to be available for filmmakers.

The Nail That Sticks Out: The team take a much-earned filming break.

Rhianne Deans, location and unit production manager, said: “I think indie British cinema would receive a lot more support from mainstream funding and providers if we had more diverse stories coming out of Britain.”

“We have such diverse people that live in this country that it would be nice to start seeing stories that are more representative.”

Crowdfunding has become a popular way of funding film production, recently crowdfunded films include the sequel to 2002 cult hit Super Trooper.

 “Short films are a great way for new people to showcase their talents who are hoping for a career in the film industry.

“But making short films is expensive, so crowdfunding is a vital source of funding for short films,” said producer Jamie Ball.

Action!: A script reading featuring some classic cardboard-box scenery.

Crowdfunding sites are flooded with films of all lengths hoping to raise enough money to get made, which Jamie thinks is indicative of the wealth of talent and ideas out there.

However, with so little funding available for indie films in the UK, crowdfunding has become an increasingly popular and necessary part of the filmmaking process.

Rhianne believes that if there were more diverse stories coming out of British indie cinema, then more funding would be given to projects centred around showcasing different cultures.

“Indie British Cinema would receive a lot more support from mainstream funding and providers if we had more diverse stories coming out of Britain.

“We have such diverse people that live in this country that it would be nice to start seeing stories that are more representative,” she said.

Spotlight: Writer Rebekah Whelan gets some camera time.

But another problem facing independent films is the lack of distribution opportunities as most short, and independent feature-length, films aren’t shown in UK cinemas.

“Our cinema screens are packed with Hollywood blockbusters meaning fewer British movies getting shown, and we don’t have a culture that embraces short films outside of film festivals and through the internet.

“It would be great to see short films, showcasing new talent, being shown in cinemas somehow,” said Jamie.

Until this changes, films like The Nail That Sticks Out are limited to niche internet streaming services and film festival entries to give them much needed exposure.

Review: Your Mum's House @ XOYO

Music

Venue

Crowd

Affordability

Overall Atmosphere

2018-02-19

4.1Overall Score

Your Mum’s House, London’s most notorious hip-hop club night, gets a grown-up makeover 

IT’s safe to say that I wasted my university days to listen to DJs plug in a bog-standard Spotify playlist to satisfy the masses. It has therefore been a relief to find a foolproof club night that does what promises banger after banger of RnB, hip-hop and practically every niche in between.

Held every Thursday night at Shoreditch’s XOYO, a club so edgy it has now become ironic,  Your Mum’s House promises “jaw dropping performances and London’s craziest mid-week vibe,” warning party goers “it may be Your Mum’s House, but nobody’s on their best behaviour.”

Although marketed as a student night, since moving out of their tiny basement location of The Nest in Dalston earlier this year, Your Mum’s House has brought with it a older,  more sophisticated London crowd, practically rid of university students who claim to know all the words to Gangsta’s Paradise.

The specialist taste of tunage ranging from old-school hip-hop, garage, trap and  grime means that the crowd it attracts are mostly here for the music. It’s a stuffy but friendly environment, where you can have the time of your life dancing on your own without caring who’s watching.

Whilst its missing the dark and mysterious vibes of The Nest, where you struggled to see anything bar the mysterious wafting incense that nobody ever enquired about, XOYO offers much more space with a stage at the front of the room, giving you enough space to twerk, shuffle and slide to your heart’s content. The lighting pumps energy into the dancefloor as it bounces off all four corners of the room and the DJ seems to be having as much fun, if not more, than the crowd themselves.

The bars and surrounding seating areas remained pretty much empty as every song, even a surprise bassline remix of Jhene Aiko’s iconic ballad The Worst, was begging to be grooved to. Take heed that this night sees more mosh pits than you could shake a Reading Festival indie kid at, but they’re easily avoidable if you don’t want to partake and you should probably say your final goodbyes to your friends if you do.

The only downside is, it’s only open until 3am and it’s the first club night I’ve been to in a while that I haven’t wanted to leave for a late night McDonald’s trip.

Your Mum’s House isn’t for those who aren’t brave enough to revel in mayhem on a weekday night. But for those who want to club carefree and rap their heart out to Biggie and spit bars to Giggs, you may just have found your new home.

Mid-1940 would prove to be the darkest hour for the British people. The German army was rampaging across Europe. The entire British Expeditionary Force was surrounded and vulnerable, stranded in France with no hope of victory. Time was running out for the allies. Then a saviour stepped into the breach…

Winston Leonard Spencer-Churchill had experienced a long and turbulent political career up until 1940. He had experienced victory and defeat in equal measure. Born into an aristocratic family, and the son of a radical Conservative Lord, Winston was certainly destined for great things. Walking around his ancestral home, Blenheim Palace, a site bequeathed to his ancestor John Churchill, Earl of Marlborough, one could easily believe that Winston was born for office. It did not happen in such an easy manner.

Ancestor: A portrait of the John Churchill first Duke of Marlborough. Source: www.artuk.org.

Churchill began life as a soldier and war correspondent. He fought in The Second Boer War before joining the Conservatives as a politician. He would defect twice, once to serve in Asquiths Liberal government and then to return to the Tory’s. “Anyone can rat,” Churchill said in response to the jeers of The Commons as he returned to the blue, “But it takes a certain amount of ingenuity to re-rat”.

“Anyone can rat, but it takes a certain amount of ingenuity to re-rat”.

In Asquith’s government, Churchill had seemed unfit for war. As First Lord of the Admiralty, he oversaw The Gallipoli campaign of 1916. Possibly the most disastrous military foray in modern British history, the allies failed to secure the Dardanelles strait and allow the Russians a secure route into Europe. 120,000 Tommy’s were dead or wounded and Churchill had no choice but to resign. He left to fight on the western front, commanding a battalion of Fusiliers.

Disaster: British soldiers haul an artillery gun into position at Gallipoli. Source: Wikipedia.

He returned in the 1920’s as part of the Tory government. It’s defeat in the 1929 election saw Churchill enter ‘the wilderness years’. He no longer held office and his brand of politics was out of favour in Whitehall. As a backbencher, Churchill concentrated on his own literary exploits and campaigned ardently for Britain to rearm herself against the growing shadow of Nazi Germany. He was largely unheard.

Churchill continued to, somehow muscle his way into political life. He advised Edward VIII during the succession crisis and the monarchs controversial marriage to divorcee Wallace Simpson.

It was his persistent voice and political involvement from the outside, as it were, that saw him take a step into British politics that would change the world.

World War II.

The declaration of war was a scary concept for Britain. Armament had been slow and stagnant. The British army had developed very little since 1918. Whilst Hitler’s superior war machine smashed through the continent, Britain slid with a pathetic flop into a war they were wholly unprepared for.

Appointment: Churchill delivers a speech upon his appointment to First Lord of the Admiralty. Source: Wikipedia.

War broke out in 1939. Churchill was re-assigned to the post of First Lord of the Admiralty. His experience would be valuable as Britain prepared to move its armies into France and assist their allies in defending the Maginot Line. The Germans were far superior to the allies, their tactical brilliance, sleek, fast tank divisions and coordinated blitzkrieg attacks saw them cut through the heavily wooded Ardeness on May 10th 1940. The allies could not have predicted an attack through such a heavily wooded area, filled with hills and craggy terrain, it was surely impenetrable?

On that same day, Neville Chamberlain resigned. He’d lost a vote of confidence after his repeated failings to make any concrete decisions in relation to the war and there was always a suggestion that he would still prefer to make peace. Churchill invited to take up the post of Prime Minister by George VI himself. His appointment couldn’t have come at a better time…

Dunkirk.

By the 23rd the British army was in full retreat and isolated on the beaches of northern France.  The French army was defeated whilst the British were facing Luftwaffe bombing raids and impending capture. They crowded on the beach of Dunkirk and waited.

Defeat would see all of Europe fall to Hitler.

Dunkirk: A destroyer carries British troops to safety. Source: Wikipedia.

Churchill addressed the house to absolute silence. His first speech to the MP’s saw Churchill claim that he had “nothing to offer but blood, toil, tears and sweat.” This, and his talk of “victory” at all costs, were met with scorn.

“You ask, what is our aim? I can answer in one word: Victory. Victory at all costs—Victory in spite of all terror—Victory, however long and hard the road may be, for without victory there is no survival.”

Talk of surrender plagued Whitehall.  The war cabinet told Churchill that it was his only option. Peace was better than defeat and there could not be another war on the scale of 1914. To make an agreement with Hitler was the way forward. The Italians were willing to mediate between the two states. It was humiliating peace talks or imminent and absolute defeat. Churchill had to choose.

The free world sat poised on a knife edge, overlooking the crossroads of history.

Operation Dynamo and ‘that’ speech.

A desperate mission was launched to rescue the stranded British troops on the 27th of May. The navy had one active cruiser and eight destroyers. They were in no position to ferry over 300,000 troops to safety before the Wehrmacht broke through. The navy issued a plea to the merchant ships and private small boats of the British people. They answered the call of patriotism.

Over 800 fishing boats, yachts, trawlers and tug boats brought the allied troops to safety, receiving cover from the RAF who fought viciously against the German Luftwaffe to control the air. By the 4th of June, the rescue mission was complete. The French rearguard, who had been fighting to slow the German advance at Lille surrendered. France was out of the war. The British had been bloodied, with 65,000 dead and their tanks abandoned. Down but not out.

The man himself: An iconic picture of Churchill from 1940. Source: Wikipedia.

Churchill entered the House of Commons as the operation came to a close. The events at Dunkirk still constituted an unprecedented disaster for British military practise.

The Prime Minister then embarked on an address that would change history. The words he spoke that day moved many in the house to tears. Sent shivers down the spine of British citizens. Inspired the Empire to fight back even as the stranglehold of Hitler’s armies surrounded them.

The ‘We shall fight on the beaches’ speech would come to define Churchill. Its rhetoric would inspire the allies to continue a desperate war effort. It inspired the nation and has stayed the test of time to inspire biopics, storytellers and politicians ever since.

“…we shall not flag or fail. We shall go on to the end. We shall fight in France, we shall fight on the seas and oceans, we shall fight with growing confidence and growing strength in the air, we shall defend our island, whatever the cost may be. We shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight on the landing grounds, we shall fight in the fields and in the streets, we shall fight in the hills; we shall never surrender…”

Cheers rang out in The Commons. Churchill walked away.

In Britains darkest hour, he stood as a voice of resilience and calm. Whilst the odds were stacked against him and the men around him called for his resignation, peace talks and defeat stared him in the face. Churchill called out, in his iconic baritone, that victory was the only option.

“The major civilizing force in the world is not religion, it is sex.” Words like this from Hugh Heffner have led to some considering him the ultimate, alternative feminist. Whether you agree or not, it cannot be argued that he was not a sexual revolutionary, which many have not only accepted but welcomed. Offering the opportunity for women to use their bodies for a career, and to do so with pride, is Playboy’s saving grace. So why, 40 years on from when it first started, is society ignoring the death of a porn star.   

Last month, it was revealed that August Ames had chosen to opt out of a performance with an actor who had shot gay scenes in the past. Many female actresses attempt to avoid “crossover” performances due to uncertainty regarding their STI testing history. Many are pressured into doing it anyway.

Ames was almost pushed into a scene with someone she didn’t feel comfortable with, before eventually backing out and tweeting she “does her homework to protect her body”. Something I’m sure we can all understand.   

whichever (lady) performer is replacing me tomorrow for @EroticaXNews , you’re shooting with a guy who has shot gay porn, just to let cha know. BS is all I can say🤷🏽‍♀️ Do agents really not care about who they’re representing? #ladirect I do my homework for my body🤓✏️🔍

— August Ames (@AugustAmesxxx) December 3, 2017

She was 23 years old. She had been in the porn industry for 4 years, appeared in over 200 movies, been nominated for numerous adult film awards and was without a doubt one of the most famous names in the game. She was Pornhub’s fifth most-watched actress, but she wasn’t enough to be able to pick and choose her roles. Without the internet going into meltdown anyway.  

Ames chose to use her influence and warn the new girls on the block against the dangers involved in porn. The tweets she sent out seemed very blasé about the gay community but it must be remembered it always is hard to go into full detail when using that platform. More importantly, Ames established that just because you are naked and on camera, you ALWAYS have a choice on what you do. No matter what the man behind the lens says.   

Many women will move into porn because they seemingly have nothing else. Ames was making clear that even if you think you have to do something, your body will always be yours to do what you will. Anyone who tries to force you to do otherwise needs to go.  

“Choose who YOU want to work with” “Don’t do anything that makes you feel uncomfortable” “Share your thoughts”

Hmm. Well, I did all three, and twitter took a dump on me🤷🏽‍♀️

— August Ames (@AugustAmesxxx) December 4, 2017

I don’t have anything to apologize for! Apologizing for taking extra steps to ensue that my body stays safe? Fuck you guys attacking me when none of my intentions were malicious. I fucking love the gay community! What the fuck ever! I CHOOSE who I have inside my body. No hate. https://t.co/7dSbq27K2F

— August Ames (@AugustAmesxxx) December 4, 2017

This brings me onto the second half of this tragic tale, something that the media will be fearful to touch upon. Some of the LGBT community must be held accountable for what Ames went on to do. The torrent of abuse that followed is some of the worst cases of trolling you will ever see, one user actually suggesting she takes a cyanide pill to end it all there and then. They were hunting her down, praying for her to implode.  

Ames eventually decided to take her own life by hanging, proving how much of an effect the words from a small section of society can make. I am of the opinion that those involved consider their words protected due to the recent successes in protecting the LGBT community throughout 2017. Whilst they are making outstanding and deserved progress in protecting their rights this does not give them a get out of jail card in providing abuse themselves.

Adult performer, Jaxton Wheeler, says he is being ignored for work after sending this tweet out Credit: lgbt.10ztalk.com

The vast majority would understand that this spout of hatred was wrong, some seemed to find pleasure in pushing her to the brink.

Just because August was a porn star it does not mean her death is meaningless. And just because the world is finally waking up to help LGBT people, it doesn’t mean we can allow this small fraction to victimise without punishment. They have set a dreadful example for those around them who are truly trying to fight for equality. 

Where was the empathy for her being another of society’s outsiders? Where was the understanding for someone who feels uncomfortable in their own skin? And where was the protection from those who were supposed to be in her corner?  

So some of you might not like that August Ames had sex on camera.  

On 'War and Leisure', Miguel is Beautiful but Boring

Originality

Production

Tracks

Lyrics

Overall Impact

2017-12-21

3.5/FIVE

Beautiful but boring. That’s how I feel about Miguel on ‘War and Leisure’, his fourth studio album release and his newest work since Wildheart which dropped in 2015. ‘War and Leisure’ as a project gives me mixed vibes. Usually the thought of Miguel will always be associated, for me, with the sweet intoxication of sexual, intimate vibes.

Miguel doesn’t make a beat for his music, he makes music for his beats….if you get what I’m saying. That’s why this 32-year old venturing more into an appraisal of the current political climate and highlighting his major personal growth as an artist on tracks like ‘Come Through and Chill’ featuring J.Cole, ‘Sky Walker’ featuring Travis Scott, ‘Caramelo Duro’ featuring Kali Uchis, ‘Banana Clip’ and ‘City of Angels’ felt a far cry from the same guy that made the iconic baby-making tune ‘Adorn’ on Kaleidoscope Dream.

At every point, Miguel’s vocals seem to arrive effortlessly and his vocal ability is not something one can easily dispute. The soft warble of ‘Harem’, the crooning ‘Now’, the upbeat sexual energy on ‘Caramelo Duro’ prove that he remains as talented as ever with an incomparable vocal range. However, much like the album cover which portrays Miguel floating above sandy dunes, he seems very distant from the music he makes.

Despite describing the album as a ‘personal struggle to find our way in the middle of it all- stay positive but be mindful’ to MTV News, it’s hard to appreciate his emotional investment in the album. Despite waiting almost two years before dropping this album in a similar manner to the long wait we endured from Frank Ocean, War & Leisure is different to the well thought-out and provocative in production, vocals, and lyricism of ‘Blonde’ (and Endless too).  This album seems to try too hard to please old fans, new fans, and a new socio-political climate. That’s not to say there aren’t gems present.

‘Caramelo Duro’ is, in Miguel’s own admission, his first majority Spanish song. An Afro-Mexican, he decides to collaborate with the immensely talented Kali-Uchis who is a Colombian-American artist with a similar indie-rnb sound. The result is a magical tune that really stands out amongst the 12 tracks on the album, pushing the sensual metaphors that Miguel loves to explore in his music but also delivering an original rocky, funky sound.

For an album titled ‘War & Leisure’ this song manages to escape aggression or laziness to deliver pure sweetness.  ‘Dulce, dulce, dulce, dulce,’ is the introduction to the track, translating as ‘sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet’ which it may innocuously appear but is far from the reality. Passionate sexual intensity inhabits the song, which despite a different sound to old Miguel 2000’s RnB albums, is definitely a theme and vibe he enjoys playing with.

‘Caramelo Duro’ means hard candy. In this case, a ‘pink starburst’ that Miguel doesn’t mind ‘on my brain’ as long as he’s ‘running through your candy lane’. The meaning is not lost on listeners who may not understand his Spanish but hopefully appreciate his euphemism ‘Regálame un poco de azúcar,’ (give me some sugar).

‘Come Through and Chill’ featuring J.Cole is much better than the original. With a slow guitar riff and beautifully simplistic jazzy beat in the background, the song is the ultimate vibe. The previous version minus Cole’s verse came out last summer and details the very relatable desire to secure your girl (or guy) and just spend a relaxed, intimate day at home. Working, studying, and just living can be hectic and especially in times of ‘unusual rain and thunder’, sometimes it’s so much more satisfactory to copy the chorus and just ‘f… all night’. You know?

Few artists can combine sharp political analysis and a discussion on love and lust in the same bars, but J.Cole can. Acknowledging his obsession with a girl from his past but concerned he might upset her man “‘specially ‘if he’s a fan”, Cole suffers the same struggle as everyone who has ever tried to pop up to an old link, ‘I’m in your town fiendin’ for another round I was countin’ down the days.’ Damn, Cole don’t play yourself. And if she’s “been on my mind like Kaepernick kneelin’”, she’s deffo the one.

‘Sky Walker’ featuring Travis Scott was released as a single before the album dropped. The indie rock feeling with a trap beat exhibited a far more 2017 sound than people were expecting and rightfully so as the song felt very commercially oriented. A repetitive chorus of ‘cap and a stem, catch a wave on us (splish)/Take a shot, make a friend, just enjoy the moment/I’m Luke Skywalkin’ on these haters (splish)/Celebrate every day like a birthday’ didn’t particularly impress me lyrically and to be honest, didn’t impress my ears either. For a song meant to essentially capture the essence of the album, it was underwhelming thematically and instead of doing what ‘Nikes’ did for ‘Blonde’ by Frank Ocean, instead it kinda depressed expectations.

What if I told you a song could make you sell your soul? Hopefully you’d be very skeptical and concerned about my question but after listening to ‘Told You So’, you’d think again. The silver-tongued playful lyrics on a 80s funky beat sound prophetic and they will cost you, because ‘every pleasure you taste has its price, babe’ as Miguel would say.

The world we live in is dark and sombre. An open bigot inhabits the White House and everyday persecutes us of brown or black pigmentation while nations around the globe rush towards xenophobia, violence and discrimination. ‘Now’ by Miguel is the last song on the album but the only one where he raises his own voice in defiance of the world’s ills. He questions America’s values in this time where power chases ‘the innocent and shoot them down’. ‘Is that the look of freedom?’ Miguel offers a slow but purposeful track that challenges the new ‘CEO of the Free World’ and closes the album beautifully on a note of hope.

On a weekend where the Super Sunday fixtures actually looked super, many Premier League fans were hoping for two titanic derby clashes, Manchester and Merseyside. They were probably disappointed. I certainly was.

For the Merseyside and Manchester derbies to co-inside on such a day was an exciting prospect as the league entered its fifteenth week. What wasn’t exciting was the average 1-1 draw at Anfield and the more than average 2-1 defeat United suffered at Old Trafford, effectively ending the title race. Yawn.

Guardiola’s men are 11 points ahead, no one can really catch them, what is the point of living what is the point of me doing these reviews?

Out of the contention: United’s loss to local rivals City has put them out of the title race. Source: DailyPost.co.uk.

Elsewhere, Arsenal drew at home to The Saints, Spurs thrashed Stoke at Wembley, Moyes got his first Hammer’s victory and Palace were angered after a missed Benteke penalty left them at the bottom of the table.

Oh and Burnley won again to keep pressure on the top six.

Game of the Week: Tottenham 5 Stoke 1.

The sluggish Spurs of the past few weeks was blown away with an emphatic home performance.

Stoke aren’t the best opposition in the world and they have been in pretty shoddy form but Tottenham’s victory over The potters saw the return of their attacking nous.

One of our own: Harry Kane grabs another two goals as Spurs run riot. Source: The Daily Mail.

The speed and free-flowing play of Erikssen, Kane and Son was back in full, with the England striker grabbing another brace.

They may be out of the title race (who isn’t?) but the north-Londoners are at least back on form.

Loser of the Week: Romelu Lukaku.

Ouch. £75 million for one big game disappointment.

Lukaku looked slow and sluggish against Manchester rivals City, squandering both of the chances he was given to score.

At the other end he failed to clear two set pieces, gifting Silva and Otamendi their goals.

He was also involved, supposedly, in lobbing a bottle at City coach, Mikel Arteta, after the match.

Not a great week for big Rom.

Controversial Calamity: Everton Penalty?

Ooooh it’s more penalty box drama.

Did he dive? Nope. Was it a foul? Yes. How do I know? It was that knuckleheaded, how in god’s name does anyone pay you to play football, centre-back, Lovren that pushed Clavert-Lewin over in the box.

Ergo, it was a penalty.

Why are we discussing it? Because some people think it wasn’t. Mainly Liverpool fans who had to watch Wayne Rooney smash in the subsequent penalty. The Red’s lost two points late on again.

Once a blue: Evertons Wayne Rooney scores the equalizing goal against rivals Liverpool. Source: Reuters.

Mighty Minnows: West Ham United.

Guess who’s back? David Moyes is back baby.

Turns out if you’re on a bad Premier League run then you should just play Chelsea and come away with a shock victory.

That’s what Hodgson’s Palace side did and now West Ham have kick-started their season with a massive one-nil victory at home.

Raucous: The Austrian international Marko Arnautovic jumps into the crowd to celebrate his winning goal. Source: BeInSports.com.

It was, newly signed, Marko Arnautovic who dummied his way into the box and curled the ball neatly round Courtois scoring the only goal of the game.

Chelsea were lacking in attacking prowess and looked uneasy on the ball. On the other hand, West Ham countered well and defended better.

Moyesy eh?

Dave’s “Game Over”: The Roadman Romantic

Originality

Production

Tracks

Lyrics

Overall

2017-12-05

4.0/FIVE

One thing about humans is that we all very much live in our own heads. It’s so easy to exist within our own comfortable realities, doing good deeds and bad deeds and at the end of the day, sleeping our issues away.

That is easy to do, until you are met with cold truth. Truth that is objective. Truth that is real. Truth that really doesn’t care for your feelings. Dave, the gifted 19-year-old rapper from South London is uniquely able to communicate that truth and wastes ‘no words’ in flagrantly @ing you and me. Even though there are only 7 songs on his latest album, many more stories are told.

Within “Game Over” the album, Dave is engulfed in an uncensored conversation about life on road and his struggles with love and lust. Speaking on our insecurities can make many men, especially in ends, shudder with fear. Our toxic masculinity dictates that our feelings are to be kept under the tightest of wraps and yet Dave manages to resist this impulse to casual violence, sexually extravagance and materially obsessed lyrics. This is not from some fake deep, intellectualism but because within the context of grime, drill and UK rap, Dave is a lyrical maverick who has made a tale that if you’ve ever been young in ends, then you can relate to.

‘How I Met My Ex’ was a beautiful, yet bitter pill to swallow. Love is hard, tricky and it is impossible to see clearly when tears cloud your vision. And that’s how this track makes you feel, with a basic piano instrumental providing the backing for Dave to tell a captivating story about his experiences with love. The song was powerful and just as Dave felt insecure when ‘his girl’ was around other rappers, everyone can relate a little, to the unease felt when you truly love someone. With “all the little things they do that put the fear in you,” Dave remarks upon all the basics of romance that get lost as time passes. Dave knows he’s not the best boyfriend and fears that another man could do what he isn’t. “What if he actually replies? What if he phones her too?” This song was far too loud and way way too real to ignore.

Album Cover

Age is irrelevant for Dave, and despite being just 19 and one of the youngest on the scene, opps and other haters are  trying to cause him trouble. That’s fine though, ‘No Words’ is proof that Dave is on whatever beef they’re looking for. This upbeat tune highlights the talents of both Dave and MoStack linking up to make a club-friendly banger. Let’s not pretend Dave is chilling though, those “fake youts” are still getting called out. “Where’s your army? Where’s your mandem?” Ah it’s peak.

“A question for the new prime minister. How’d you have a heart so sinister?” Austerity, poverty, inequality, racism and police brutality. Funding for military invasions in poor brown countries while the NHS starves.  Individually each issue is a significant flaw of life in Britain and the behaviour of our leaders. But together, it becomes yet more disgusting that the fifth largest economy in the world can cause such suffering alongside unimaginable wealth for the elite.

On Question Time, Dave is relentless, questioning and interrogating the major issues affecting the country and narrating the stories that are being ignored. On a slow electronic beat, Dave expresses dismay at the unfairness of life for working class people. “I just find it f**ked that the government is struggling, to care for a person that cares for a person.” I genuinely felt something listening to this tune, I mean it’s not often that artists in such explicit and obviously angered language, talk about he inequalities and injustices present in our society. And Dave is right, we should be angry. Rapping about Grenfell and the horrible imagery of “How you choke on the smoke when you’re struggling to breathe, The glow from the fire, The panic when you hear all the sirens , The crackling, the popping and the muffled-out screams.” Horrifying to hear. But poetry.

I really wasn’t ready for the electronic beat on “Game Over”, the titular track on the album. Game Over was the combative introduction to Dave’s world, acknowledging the various ways people tried to “play” him. Unsuccessfully, I should add. Why? Because Mr. Santan believes in using his ‘Ls’ to elevate, dismissing all the accusers stating he’d changed as missing the point, he’s the “same player, different game.” Like many lads, Dave is all about his footy and the song is seasoned with footy references, that I shamefully didn’t get, though “I made the girl come round and go low, Now I just call her Kanté” sounds real romantic.

Dave knows about making relatable tunes and his efforts to secure that “lightie looking like a wifey”, are chronicled on Calling Me Out, track 4 on the album. No matter what big age you are or what status you’re at; F-boys (fraud is a lifestyle right?) will always be F-boys “I smiled when she pulled out her Barclays, Sorry, it’s the 419 in me,” Instagram captions for days.

“Just remember when the girl’s playing hard to get, there’s probably another person that she’s trying hard to get.” You read that too quickly, please read it again. Dave uses lyrics purposefully to put our every niggling subconscious feeling on a song. “My 19th Birthday” is a narrative of maturity and journeying from an adolescence to an adulthood characterised by money, sex and keeping up his hustle. Dave is a youth with “different types of problems” to the rest of us. With “corporate tax on this cash that I’m making/And at the same time I need to vanquish my paigons.” It’s really no joke the stress that comes with success and the balancing act of transcending the roads but maintaining your authenticity as a person.

Dave’s album is a proud and ambitious project that proves the talent and creative vision of his artistry. Managing to touch on themes of love and lust, of injustice and inequality and consistently capturing the experience of being young in ends, it’s a serious contender for the most realistic, relatable grime(ish) album of recent times. On ‘Game Over’, Dave stops playing with singles and drops his debut album. He proves the road lifestyle isn’t actually so distant from the romantic one. Who would have thought it?

After the insane mid-week fixtures, the Premier League decided to turn up the heat. Goals, cards, an actual title race, shocking defending, what do you want? We got it.

It was a weekend of title defining results as the 15th set of games came to an end. City won 2-1 with a late winner for the third time in a row. It’s now 13 wins on the trot for them and the word ‘invincible’ is being uttered around The Etihad.

The red side of Manchester kept their title chase alive with a victory at The Emirates. Liverpool spanked Brighton 5-1, Chelsea beat Newcastle, Everton won their first game under Big Sam and Leicester scraped past Burnley.

In north-London, Tottenham continued their poor run of form with a draw against Watford, whilst Stoke won for the first time since the end of October.

Game of the Week: Arsenal 1 Manchester United 3.

Remember when Arsenal-United was interesting? Well, it’s back. Saturday’s clash between, old enemies, Mourinho and Wenger proved that United can actually play interesting football against the top 6, whilst resurrecting this fixture as a contest.

Within 14 minutes United had taken a commanding two-goal lead with Valencia and Lingard finding the back of the net. Like the Ferguson teams of old, United then sat deep and defended well against the gooners.

Lingard: The United winger converts Pogba’s cross, restoring their two-goal cushion. Source: GiveMeSport.com.

Despite Lacazette’s second-half goal, the scorching counter-attacking play of Lukaku, Pogba and Lingard saw the Red Devil’s seal the game with a goal number 3.

It was a game of fight, passion and heart. It even had controversy, with Pogba getting an early bath after a rash challenge on Bellerin.

More of the same please.

Losers of the Week: Swansea.

Losing twice in a week is seldom good. For Swansea City, it is an even more damning assessment of a team who haven’t won since October 14th.

Wilfried Bony scored for the first time in a year against Stoke on Saturday but his joy was short lived as Shaqiri and Diouf turned it around at the Bet365.

Sour Swans: Andre Ayew and Sam Clucas hang their heads as Swansea lose again. Source: The Daily Mirror.

Swansea looked as toothless, lightweight and defensively incapable as they did under Bob Bradley last year. Remember that? That actually happened.

The Welsh club have now hit the bottom of the league table and unless they find their gall, that is where they are going to stay.

Mid-week Madness: the Wazza renaissance.

The mid-week games were a cut above last weekend’s boring escapades. Seriously, scrap European football and double the fixtures.

The highlight was Wednesday’s Evertonian recovery which saw Wayne Rooney smash home his first hat-trick in 6 years as they beat the Hammers 4-0.

The pick of the bunch was a pile-driver from inside the Everton half which the English striker hit with his laces over Joe Hart and two defenders into the goal, giving Everton a much needed three points.

Fame is fleeting, class is permanent.

Wazza: Whilst his critics increase in number, the ex-England captain continues to prove them wrong. Source: BeInSports.com.

Controversial Calamity: Did he dive?

There has been so much hype around soft penalties and diving that it’s a constant topic for pundits.

However, the decision to book Bournemouth’s Adam Smith for simulation during Sunday’s clash against Southampton was met with outrage. Mainly because he wasn’t diving, or simulating, he was fouled and fell over.

As Eddie Howe stated, sometimes it seems that the ref’s are ‘looking’ for the dives.

Fouled: Adam Smith takes a tumble and is judged to have dived. Source: The Sun.

Mighty Minnows: Literally bloody no-one.

No small town winners this weekend. We could count Stoke as minnow as they ended a shocking run of form but that was against Swansea so, no.

Pretty much all the other small teams lost. West Brom and Crystal Palace played out the most boring draw ever. Again.

There isn’t anyone lads. Try again next week, Burnley won’t be able to get it again because we’re officially a big top seven club. Peace.

It took a lot not to smile when I heard the news that Prince Harry was to marry his long-term girlfriend, Meghan Markle.

In this country, with our confused sense of how one is to express their “patriotism,” to not smile at anything related to the Royal Family, especially if you are a person of colour, is the equivalent of outing yourself as an anarchist and scrawling “DEPORT ME” on your forehead.

Also, it’s only polite. I am British, after all.

And yes, whilst the world continues to turn, I am happy for them- even if I am slightly peeved we don’t get a day off for the pleasure. 

Markle, unlike some of the past and present girlfriends and wives of the Royal Family, did not exactly spring from nowhere. She’s a successful actress and campaigner for women’s rights who was in the public eye long before she met Harry. She’s not the ideal character for a rags-to-riches story, which is why the media seems to be clutching at straws just to stick an adjective in front of a sub-heading that describes her as “different,” “controversial,” or, my personal favourite “revolutionary.”

This pictorals however, are offered purely based on the fact that she is mixed-race.

If, God forbid, this was America, where the so-called “one-drop rule” still reigns supreme, being mixed-race would translate to meaning “non-white,” translating to “black.” See “First Black President Barack Obama” for further reference.

Prince Harry, who announced his engagement to Meghan on Monday, has spoken out about the “racial undertones” of press coverage surrounding their relationship. Source: Guardian.

Here, in the land of hope, glory and political correctness, “mixed-race” is a buzzword used synonymously with “diversity,” “multiculturalism” and “tolerance.” Much of the media coverage surrounding the engagement focused on how the royal coupling was a true reflection of Britain’s multicultural society, and how “far” we’ve come as a nation.

The BBC did a suspiciously hastily put-together feature on interracial couples reacting to the royal engagement, whilst a clearly bored and uninspired freelancer for the Metro wrote what can only be described as a God-awful piece titled: “It’s a great day for interracial relationships and mixed-raced girls everywhere” (I can tell you with complete confidence that I’ve had better days).

The problem with these articles wasn’t the choice of topic, exactly- I’m a strong advocate for seeing more issues surrounding British mixed-raced individuals in the mainstream media- it’s the narrowness of their perspective.

The hype around Markle’s mixed-race heritage unapologetically feeds into stereotypes about biracial individuals. Arguably, Markle conforms to what former Vogue editor Alexandra Shulman called the “perfect type of mixed-race,” with fair skin and straightened hair. Many women of black and white heritage, myself included, have darker skin and curly, afro hair which, thanks to our Eurocentric standards of beauty, are seen as less desirable. Efforts to paint Markle as a patron for this imaginary mixed-race community, therefore, excludes many of us who do not have this “beauty privilege,” which is a common assumption.

“Markle serves as a chilling reminder that no matter how great our accomplishments, our ghost of ‘incompleteness’ will continue to haunt us.”

There is also the issue that Markle’s biraciality only became of paramount importance when attached to the value of marrying into the Royal Family, arguably the epitome of white imperialism.

Markle said she was “disheartened” that media coverage focused on her ethnicity. In that moment, I did not relate to Markle as a mixed-raced woman per say, but as a woman of colour who just gets it. Speaking about growing up biracial in an interview, she remembers not knowing whether to tick ‘black’ or ‘white’ when filling out a form, so she left it blank. This sense of uncertainty followed her into her acting career, being too “black” for white roles and too “white” for black ones. What Markle does do, if we are insistent on depicting her as symbolic of the mixed-race experience, is serve as a chilling reminder to mixed-race people that no matter how great our accomplishments, our ghost of “incompleteness” will continue to haunt us.

“Markle’s biraciality was only deemed worthy when attached to the Royal Family, the epitome of white imperialism.”

I suppose one of the key questions is why mixed-raced people are spoken about as an emblem of advancement when black Britons are hardly ever spoken about in the same manner. If we’re so tolerant as a nation, then why are our institutions (the media, government and education included) still using black people as symbols of crime and deprivation and those from South Asian or Arab backgrounds as depictions of terrorism and backwardness?

Then again, perhaps I’m just another millennial snowflake being overly sensitive- after all, it seems as if every other advert on TV now features a mixed-race family. These adverts are not intended to represent multicultural consumers, but rather serve as a tool to meet a diversity quota that tells them mulit-culturalism sells. As we’ve seen from many botched diversity promoting advertising campaigns such as Dove’s PR disaster, the decision to represent ethnic minorities isn’t a genuine one, in fact it’s a resentful one- a means to an end to get publicity praising their liberal values, which we gobble up and flock to buy their products.

  The explosion in the number of adverts featuring mixed-race families are intended to promote multiculturalism, but are they just selling us a lie of racial tolerance? This Old Navy ad caused public outcry for its support of the “genocide of the white race.” Source: NBC News.

What these commercials do, like the press’s incessant race-focused coverage of the royal engagement, is sell us an ideal of a multicultural Britain. What’s more, it placates us into believing that our nation is a tolerant one, a principle which many BAME individuals would disagree with. From the rise in hate crime, the fact that BAME children account for 60% of child arrests and the day-to-day micro-aggressions that slice through our skin like a razor even though we’re made to believe we’re crazy because the scars are never visible.