Conscience Killer.

anyway i go in to see paul one week in the summer of 2016, and i’m doing my usual bullshit which consists of me talking shit about myself, and paul is staring at me, and then he cuts me off and says that he’s got a new tool for helping people recognize when they’re using negative language, and gets up and goes over to his desk

and i’m like alright hit me with that sweet sweet self-help article my man, because i’m a linguistic learner and whenever paul’s like here i have a tool for you to use it’s pretty much always an article or a book or something

paul opens a drawer, takes something out, and turns back around. i stare.

i say, paul.

is that a nerf gun.

yeah, says paul.

i say, are you gonna shoot me with a nerf gun in this professional setting.

he happily informs me that that’s really up to me, isn’t it. and sits back down. and gestures, like, go ahead, what were you saying?

and i squint suspiciously and start back up about how i’m having too much anxiety to leave the house to run errands, like it was a miracle to even get here, like i’ve forgone getting groceries for the past week and that’s so stupid, what a stupid issue, i’m an idiot, how could i–

a foam dart hits me in the leg.

i go, hey! because my therapist just shot me in the leg. paul blinks at me placidly and raises an eyebrow. i squint again.

i say, slowly, it’s– not a stupid issue, i’m not stupid, but it’s frustrating me and i don’t want it to be a problem i’m having.

no dart this time. okay. sweet.

so the rest of the hour passes with me intermittently getting nailed with tiny foam darts and then swearing and then fixing my language and, wouldn’t you know it, i start liking myself a little more by the end of the session, which is mildly infuriating because paul can tell and he’s very smug about it 

like he’s mildly inconvenienced and shooketh by the mess of dead bodies when he literally was just fucken running around murdering tf outta everyone like THIRTY SecoNDS AGO doin extra ass Shit™ like this:

Queens of the Stone Age Margaret Court Arena, Melbourne, Australia 07/09/2018

Setlist If I Had a Tail In My Head My God Is the Sun Feet Don’t Fail Me The Way You Used to Do You Can’t Quit Me Baby No One Knows The Evil Has Landed I Never Came Head Like a Haunted House Smooth Sailing Domesticated Animals Someone’s in the Wolf Villains of Circumstance Little Sister Go With the Flow A Song for the Dead

Note: “Regular John” on setlist but not played.

Queens of the Stone Age Margaret Court Arena, Melbourne, Australia 08/09/2018

Setlist A Song for the Deaf Do It Again Feet Don’t Fail Me The Way You Used to Do You Think I Ain’t Worth a Dollar, but I Feel Like a Millionaire No One Knows Turnin’ on the Screw The Evil Has Landed In the Fade Un-Reborn Again My God Is the Sun Burn the Witch Domesticated Animals If I Had a Tail Make It Wit Chu I Appear Missing Little Sister Go With the Flow Regular John A Song for the Dead