silly guy

scientists have made a breakthrough in the cultivation of christobacteria from samples left on the holy grail, bringing us one step closer to a vaccine against divinity

This is a worm? Or perhaps some sort of slug?

And it's gonna getcha

the oldest reblogs for this post that i can find are from january 2nd of 2013. this can has been getting kicked around tumblr for almost 13½ years now

i go to the ytp bar and order the usual. the bartender sets a Snoopingas in front of me. i pick it up, raise it to my lips, and set it back down, repeating all of this while gradually accelerating until i have finished the drink. my favorite way to spend a frirfday evenineve

i go to the ytp tennis bar and order the usu. the usuasusual. bart- orders the Snoopingas. the bartender sets a Snoopingas in front of bart-. i pick it up (hey!), and set it back down, and i pick it up, and set it back down, and i raise it-and set it back down, all of this while pea-ing and gradually accelerating until i have finished. *cartoon splat sfx* i repeatedly drink bart-s drink until bart- sets me on FIRE!! *crackling* my favorite waaw to spend a frirfday evenineve. …veve.

y y y i go to the ytp siis bar? *long pause* to order the bartender to set me on FIRE!! The bartender iS Snoop *snoop dog smoke weed song distorted* i pick the PINGAS up (hey!), and set it on FIRE!! *tf2 pyro happy noises* llAll of this while bartender Snoop gradually accelerating and ♪it's the wall, hit the wall!♪ *cartoon splat sfx 3 times, last paulstretched* waw waw waaaw way to drink aT the ytp siis bar on a friirf evenev lAl

@gay--dog

dudes online used to spend 72 hours on photoshop uninterrupted editing people’s faces to look scary and we called the finished product some shit like jeff the killer and put him in spirit halloween and on wikipedia These days you open tumblr and top of dash is a 42 note edit of jerma’s face so fucked up looking that it could’ve been used to texture a corpse in a y2k valve game and you get a little nauseous and otherwise just keep scrolling. and this is known as “a tuesday

isn't this one also rigged?

crush totally wasn't impressed by my miraculous flying machine fml

oh my god i just saw her get onto an airship with a woman whose tophat has at least twice as many sprockets as mine. i will be killing myself with an elaborate pneumatic pistol tonight

Donkey about to get the fuckin drop on father konstaninos - photographer unknown

Prelude to an ass kicking

The first rule of cable management is "out of sight, out of mind"

The second rule of cable management is that all true art is provocative. If zero people want to kill you over it, it's not good art.