Oh Hai 👋

first of all, i will say that over the years my thoughts and theories about whatever is going on between them have changed so much. honestly my answers to what i think happened during break up era will probably change depending on the day.

for example, where i used to be sure that there must have been something solid going on between them even in those early years, ever since the poem men in woods i have changed my mind about that. to me, that poem screams jensen, and if jensen was indeed misha's new friend who tried to kiss him, i am more prone to assume that maybe the lines between very very close friends and something more were blurred at the time, but never really defined in the first few years before the 'break up era'.

i think we can all safely say we clocked something real there, real attraction, a real connection, but other than that who knows how they both saw their relationship or how sure they were of whatever was happening between them?

i do have some broad/vague thoughts (like i said, these could change any moment and is based purely on what we know and what we don't know aka fill in the blanks) on what might have been going on. i think it's possible that they both felt an attraction to each other, that jensen knew that misha was poly witch vicki and that jensen and misha either did actually explore that attraction or that jensen at the very least let misha know (by kissing him and god knows how else) that he was into him. and then, unfortunately, cas got killed off and suddenly they no longer had a valid excuse to keep blurring those lines.

because of everything that has been documented about that point in time, i have a strong feeling that jensen said or did something to fuck things up between them and upset misha and probably had immediate regrets but misha wasn't taking any shit and took his time to process everything and only when it was clear he would be back, did they hash things out.

first of all, i will say that over the years my thoughts and theories about whatever is going on between them have changed so much. honestly my answers to what i think happened during break up era will probably change depending on the day.

for example, where i used to be sure that there must have been something solid going on between them even in those early years, ever since the poem men in woods i have changed my mind about that. to me, that poem screams jensen, and if jensen was indeed misha's new friend who tried to kiss him, i am more prone to assume that maybe the lines between very very close friends and something more were blurred at the time, but never really defined in the first few years before the 'break up era'.

i think we can all safely say we clocked something real there, real attraction, a real connection, but other than that who knows how they both saw their relationship or how sure they were of whatever was happening between them?

i do have some broad/vague thoughts (like i said, these could change any moment and is based purely on what we know and what we don't know aka fill in the blanks) on what might have been going on. i think it's possible that they both felt an attraction to each other, that jensen knew that misha was poly witch vicki and that jensen and misha either did actually explore that attraction or that jensen at the very least let misha know (by kissing him and god knows how else) that he was into him. and then, unfortunately, cas got killed off and suddenly they no longer had a valid excuse to keep blurring those lines.

because of everything that has been documented about that point in time, i have a strong feeling that jensen said or did something to fuck things up between them and upset misha and probably had immediate regrets but misha wasn't taking any shit and took his time to process everything and only when it was clear he would be back, did they hash things out.

Excerpt: Castiel or C.J. Krushnic as he was known in the literary world, had spent the last few months doing the convention circuit promoting the latest book in the paranormal series. Very much an introvert, these events pushed Castiel far beyond his comfort zone, but the book series' popularity had made conventions a part of the job. This latest had been his third and he was getting better at sitting up on stage with fellow panelists. Castiel’s heart beat a fast staccato, as he answered questions about what it was like to give voice to characters like The Wesson brothers; his face a stoic mask as Castiel adhered to the requests to read book passages aloud in his distinctive gravelly voice.  He’d gotten through it, but now Castiel was drained and all he wanted was quiet and space.  Peering over the railing, Castiel heard the belligerent bellowing of a taxi driver and the jarring blare of a horn being pressed. Castiel sighed again. He needed to get away. Somewhere quiet, where he could just exist in peace and solitude. Castiel left the balcony, closing the doors behind him. With a jaw-cracking yawn, he dragged his boned tired body across the living room, back through to the bedroom, and into the ensuite bathroom. He set his now empty whiskey glass on the counter with an audible click. Tired blue eyes stared back at him from the mirror above the sink. Frowning, Castiel tore his gaze away from himself and turned on the water, cupping it in his palms before scrubbing it briskly over his stubbled face. His dark hair stood in tufts and he could use a shave, but Castiel just didn't have the energy. Wandering back out into the living room, Castiel absent-mindedly clicked on the television, noting that an old season of Tournament of Champions was playing. He left the cooking show on and grabbed the mail from on top of the suitcase. Slouching back onto his couch, Castiel rifled through the thick stack. It was mostly junk mail plus what looked like a belated birthday card from his older brother Gabriel that said I wish you love, laughter, and ha! Penis. Castiel snorted, fingering the last envelope in his hand. Furrowing his brow, he realized it was blank, save his pen name in a loopy scrawl. That was strange. Nobody had mentioned anyone dropping anything off for him when he picked up his mail at the front desk. Castiel opened the envelope and pulled out a slip of paper. His stomach plummeted unpleasantly as he read the words on the page. The sound of your voice, the way our eyes met, it is inevitable. You belong to me. -HeartsAflame With shaking fingers, Castiel pulled out his phone and quickly tapped on his brother's icon. Gabriel picked up on the first ring.  “Hey, broseph! How was your tour?” Castiel ignored the question. “Gabriel, they found my apartment,” he said, voice audibly shaken. “Sit tight, Cassie. I’m on my way.”