your local virus

"cigarette" implies the existence of a much larger "cigar"

i recovered by the time i hit post but when i first had this thought i had genuinely forgotten cigars exist

bouncing on his everything

why do US patriots think they own "red white and blue" there's a lotta red white and blue flags out there. "i stand for the red white and blue" yass me too let's go costa rica 🇨🇷🇨🇷🇨🇷🇨🇷 let's go laos 🇱🇦🇱🇦🇱🇦🇱🇦 fuck it up liberia 🇱🇷🇱🇷🇱🇷 nepal get triangular with it 🇳🇵🇳🇵🇳🇵

everyone line up i've got one bottle of testosterone gel and there's 17,000 of you i'm about to pull a move not seen since jesus did the bread and fish glitch 2000 years ago

thank you to all the beautiful women who follow me even though i'm doomed

I love using the word “freak” but like. not as a derogatory. it’s a compliment. he’s such a lil freak i love him. she’s such a fucking freak she’s just like me. they’re just a freak and they’re fucking awesome

Mondays aren't that bad once you cannot tell days apart from eachother