spacetimer

is it normal for someone

as young as me

to feel like they are

running out of time?

i should probably just go to bed

i may wake up more optimistic

it will just be another thing

that i will avoid until it

crushes me completely one day

my seventh grade history teacher

told us that the best thing

you could do to someone

was to just go up to them

and tell them

“thank you”

even if- especially if-

you dont specify

what for

and i cant say that

i ever understood it

a couple weeks ago

i was at a diner

it was late at night and i was

with my stepfamily

i was the only one stacking stuff

because i was the only one who

understood the waitresses pain

she was struggling to hold a

plate that i handed her

and i asked her

“do you need me to

take some stuff off?”

she said

“no, thank you”

then she stopped for a minute

and she looked at me

and she said

“thank you”

earlier today we had a speaker

talking about fentanyl

he asked if any of us had

experienced a fentanyl overdose

i had seen it

so i raised my hand

afterwards he thanked me

for being open

and he talked about his experiences

i told him i used to do heroin

and we talked

and we were both in tears

and as i was leaving he said

“people like you

are the reason i do this”

and that broke me

and all i could say was

“thank you”

and it didnt feel like

i should stop trying so hard to exist

and just do it

i am still just trying to figure out

how i can be a person and

how i can experience my own life fully when

half of me is stretched across the state

perhaps that is just

part of the human experience

it is a pity how much of our

lives are spent

being nothing

while deeper down we are

actually everything

i can catch a glimpse of

the everything, every

once in a while

i lay in my bed after

i read something that

couldve been written

by me- everything

i walk home on a cloudy day

listening to music and

having visions of dancing- everything

and he touches me and i

i can do nothing else but

collapse from the