ugh...

Trying to teach my 5 year old how to eat a hard taco has been the most frustrating thing I’ve ever done in my life. Why won’t she turn her head. She keeps trying to eat it vertically

need a full body massage a margarita 400mg of ibuprofen a plate of brownies at least an hour in a jacuzzi and 20,000 dollars cash

Imagine one day going home to your wife

There is no way this is a porno

This is the best porno there has ever been.

The way he says “HEY WHAT THE FUCK” shaped me as a person

the smallest amount of reassurance means so much. Random messages like “im not mad at you” “you’re not annoying me” “i’ll text you later” “i love you” is such a relief.

lay with me by the ocean and show me your playlists

It’s ok to want more. You don’t have to explain yourself to anyone.