Cyar’ika

“Do you know how I am?” You shook your head again, and the man hung his helmeted head. You heard him let out an exhale, and the small creature next to you, let out a small cry.

“I’m sorry…” you started to say before the man shushed you. Panic was snaking its way up your spine. You were injured, in pain, and somewhere you didn’t know.

“No it's okay. You had a fall, I rescued you.” His voice was gentle, and he rubbed small circles with his thumb over your knee.

“Oh… thank you.” You weren’t sure what else to say. The gentle caress of his thumb was nice, but you still felt on edge.

“Do you know who you are?” You nodded and told him your name. He hummed in agreement. “And what is the last thing you remember?”

You thought back, digging around in your memory. It all seemed really hazy, like you were watching a dream of someone else’s life. You saw the helmet of the man in front of you in the streets on Canto Bight, a blaster shot and you killed someone, and then fire. You swallowed, tears pricking your eyes when you recalled the memory of your ship burning to the ground.

“I...ugh….I remember my ship….burning.” Your voice was thick, and you were trying really hard not to cry. “I remember you. But I don’t remember you?” The man nodded, his thumb stopped stroking circles and instead he gave your knee a soft squeeze.

“Anything else?” You sat for a moment, lost in thought. You sort of remember being cold, and lots of snow.

“Ice. And being cold.” The man just nodded.

“How are you feeling?”

“Really sore.” Your whole body ached, every inch of it was stiff and sore. You felt like one solid bruise. Your rib cage was in the most pain, and so was one of your legs. You shifted the blanket to look. A nasty red welt streaked across your thigh. You winced at the sight of it. The skin was blistered and weeping. “What happened?”

“A blaster shot.”

“How?” You don’t understand.

“It’s a long story.” The visor never left your face, and you felt small under its unfaltering stare. “You’re safe now.”

You didn’t say anything. Your brain was desperately trying to fit together all the pieces. You felt a tear run down your face. The little green creature gurgled at you and held out his tiny hands. He crawled towards you and you flinched away, not understanding. He let out a soft cry and tears welled up in his eyes. The man reached in to pick him up. The man turned back to you. “Get some rest, I’ll wake you when we land.”

You nodded, and turned your eyes back to the ceiling. Your body was in so much pain. Tears rolled down your cheeks, splashing onto the bed sheet beneath you. You let out a shaky breath and squeezed your eyes shut, willing yourself back to sleep to avoid the pain.

When you woke you were not where you fell asleep. The walls around you were stone, and the bed beneath you was a lot comfier than the one you had fallen asleep in. The room was bathed in the soft, flickering light from a fire. You pushed yourself up onto your elbows. You braced yourself, expecting pain but there was none. Huh.

You sit up carefully, and look around the room. It was small, with low ceilings. Other than the fire you couldn’t see any other source of light. It's very quiet. Other than the fire crackling, you can’t hear anything else. A small tendril of fear begins to wind its way into your mind. You’re alone, and somewhere you don’t know.

You slump back against the pillows and burrow back down into the warm furs. You squeeze your eyes shut and try to remember what happened. You can’t remember much other than talking to...Mando.

Your eyes spring open, and you call out for him. Your voice is rough from lack of use, and your throat is dry. Still your croaky voice carries out around the room. The door on the wall opposite you creaks open, and an unfamiliar woman appears, head peering into the room.

“You’re awake!”

“Where's Mando?” The woman didn’t respond as she entered the room and walked over to you. She tugged the fur off your body and you glanced down. You weren’t wearing anything, save for some panties. You tried to protest and pull the covers back over you, but her strong hand pushed you back down onto the bed.

“Stop. I need to check your leg.” Her voice was gruff, but gentle. She placed her hand on your leg, above a long red scar. “It's healing well. Do you want to see him?”

You assumed ‘him’ meant Mando so you nodded. The lady pulled the covers back over you and walked out of the room, the door creaking shut behind her. You tugged the cover away again to look at your leg yourself. The scar was long and jagged, the skin still puffy from healing. You touched it gently, waiting for pain but none came. You flicked the covers back over you and settled back into the bed.

A knock sounded on the door, and you turned to see the familiar silver grey armor enter the room. A small cry sounded from his arms, and you could see the kid reaching out towards you. You smiled softly at the pair of them.

The man made no movement to come further inside the door. “You can come in.” You patted the bed next to you, he walked in, a huge behemoth of a man in the small room. He stopped next to your bed.

“Cyar’ika.” The word was soft and breathy, even through the helmet. You gaze up at him. He ducked down to kneel on the floor next to the bed.

“Hi.” Your voice is quiet, and you watch his hand come up to stroke your face.

“I thought I lost you.” You lean into his hand, the rough leather pressed against your cheek. “Do you remember what happened?”

“Sort of? It's all very blurry though.” You close your eyes, desperately trying to remember the night's events. When you opened them again, Mando was still watching you. “Where are we?”

“Nevarro.”

“Where?”

“Not important. You’re safe.” You nod. The kid makes an impatient whine at being ignored for the past few moments. You open your arms to him, and Mando lets him crawl over you for a cuddle. You nuzzle his furry head, and clutch him to your chest.

“Hey little one.” The kid purred happily in your arms.

Mando brushes the hair from your face. “ How are you feeling?”

“A lot better than I thought I would.”

Mando hums in approval, his hand still cradling the side of your head. You lean into his palm, closing your eyes. He caresses your cheek with his thumb. When you opened your eyes his visor was still fixed intently on your face.

“Did you catch him?” Mando shook his head. “Shit.”

“He wasn’t part of the group that attacked. He must have fled during the ambush.”

“Do you know where he is?”

Mando didn’t get to answer as the woman reappeared carrying a steaming bowl of stew. She placed it carefully on the bedside table next to you, glancing over to Mando and the small green creature curled up on your chest. All she said was, ‘Eat.” And then she left again.

The kid's nose started twitching as he smelt the food, stirring him out of his nap. His big eyes landed on the bowl before staring up at you expectantly. Mando reached out to grab him. ‘Come here you little womp-rat. It's not for you.” You chuckled as he plucked him off your chest. You shifted so you were sitting more upright in the bed, before picking up the warm bowl. It smelt delicious, with large chunks of meat floating in a hearty stew.

Your stomach growled in anticipation, and you started to eat. Mando watched you quietly, holding onto the kid. When you’d eaten as much as you could, you began to shred pieces of the meat up and passed them to the kid who wolfed them down. “Have you not fed him?”

“Of course I fed him.” Came Mandos indignant reply. “He’s just never full.”

You smile at him. “I was joking.” Mando just dipped his head to watch the kid chew the meat. “What’s our next move?”

“You’re not doing anything. You need to rest.”

“I’m fine!”

“You fell off a cliff.”

“And survived!” Your eyes flickered over the visor, trying to distinguish where his eyes could be. “I’m okay.”

Mando sighed, the noise rippling through the vocoder. You grabbed his hand and squeezed it. “I...we nearly lost you. Just rest for a bit okay?” His voice was small through the helmet.

“But...” Mando stood up, picking the kid up with him.

“No buts. You rest.” His tone was harsh. You stiffened at the contrast in comparison to what he just said. You opened your mouth to argue but he’d already walked out of the room, leaving you on your own again.

You ended up spending another few days stuck in the bed. The woman introduced herself as Rhea, although she didn’t really say much else to you. She appeared every few hours with food, medicine, or to help you stagger to the bathroom. You didn’t see Mando very much, occasionally he’d pop his head in or leave the kid with you. The last part of your conversation had left a sour note on your relationship and you didn’t understand why. You’d tried to talk to him each time he came in but he didn’t respond. His guard was back up and he barely spoke to you, other than to ask how you were feeling.

After a couple more days you asked Rhea if you could shower. As up until then, Rhea had just left a basin of water and some washcloths for you to clean yourself with. You’d asked previously but she’d motioned towards your leg as an answer. It had easily been 2 weeks since the accident and your hair felt disgusting. She agreed and came back with a towel and some clean clothes.

The water was hot as you stepped under the spray. The scar on your leg stung a little bit from the heat but it felt good to be properly clean. You spent a long time standing in the shower, washing and conditioning your hair. When you stepped out your skin was flushed, steam rising from your body in the cool air. Gently drying yourself, you got changed into the clean clothes and padded back to your room.

You settled back on the bed and Rhea came back in to put more bacta gel on your leg. You watched her work.

“How did I survive?” She turned her face towards you, her dark eyes fixed on your face.

“Bacta injection.” She chuckled. It was the most she’d ever said to you. “Works wonders.” She smirked before turning away and leaving you in silence.

It wasn’t long before Mando burst back in the room, dropping the child on the bed. He turned quickly, spinning on his heel. ‘Mando?” He froze, but didn’t turn round. “Where are you going?”

“Business.” And he left. The kid just sat wide eyed, staring at you.

“Guess it's just you and me.” His ears pricked up. “At least you want to see me.”

Mando had been gone for 2 days. The kid stayed with you, sharing your meals, and snoozing in your arms. You weren’t allowed out of your room, unless to use the bathroom and it was driving you crazy. You didn’t want to upset your host so you never pushed it but maker were you bored.

You were sitting in bed, imagining what you’d say to Mando on his return when the door crashed open. Instantly you grabbed the kid, as Rhea burst in the room. Her eyes were wild, and she clutched some clothes to her chest.

“Get dressed. You need to leave.” She thrust the clothes into your hands.

“What?” You pulled on the trousers, and tugged the jumper over your head.

“You need to go!”

“Why?” Rhea’s voice was panicked, and it was scarring the kid. She didn’t say anything as she ushered you out of the room, and down the dark hallway. The stone floor was cold against your feet and it dawned on you that you had no shoes on.

“Rhea? I need shoes…” she ignored you and carried on marching down the hall.

She stopped at a heavy wooden door. “You need to run. Get out of the city and as far away as you can.”

“What why?” Rhea didn’t answer, instead she threw open the door and shoved you out onto the street. You stumbled out, clutching the kid to your chest. You turned to ask her what was happening but the door was already shut.

You glanced around. It was night, the air was warm and the moons cast a silvery light over the street. You stood for a second, listening.

Faint blaster fire could be heard, ringing out through the city. Fear crawled its way up your spine. The street around you was empty, but you didn’t recognize where you were. Nevarro always looked different at night.

You could hear the blaster fire getting closer. Get out of the city. Rhea’s words echoed around your head and you started to walk down the street, keeping close to the walls. The sharp stones on the ground cut and pinched the soles of your feet. You cursed softly.

Shouts and screams could be heard ringing out across the city, bouncing off the walls. What’s happening? You began to run, sprinting through the streets, heading to where you thought the edge of town was. Your feet slapped against the ground, and the kid gripped your shirt tightly. Where’s Mando?

The edge of the town was just in front of you when a blaster shot rang out behind you, glancing off the ground next to you. You swore. You sprinted out of the town, onto the lava plains of Nevarro.

The ground was hot beneath your feet as you ran away from the town. The ground cracked and groaned around you as hot lava spilled erupted out. The kid was crying now, small little wails drifted across the barren land.

“Shhhh shh it’s okay.” You hushed him, slowing down to a walk. You scanned the area, but it was too dark to see if anyone was following. You swallowed, the coil of fear that had started back with Rhea was now full blown terror at the idea of navigating Nevarro at night.

You looked skyward, through the haze towards the stars above. You could only see a few, shining against the pitch black sky. Where the fuck is Mando? You carried on walking, feet sore from the hot ground, trying to find shelter. Mando would find you. He could find anyone.

A screech overhead made your blood run cold. Looking up you could just make out the shape of a huge winged creature circling overhead. A reptavian. You were frozen in place as the creature circled above you. A small whimper from the kid brought you back to your senses and you ran. You knew you wouldn’t be able to outrun it, but a small part of you hoped….prayed… that you’d be able to find shelter.

Your lungs burned as you ran, each intake of breath stung your dry throat. You couldn’t see the ground in front of you as you stumbled through the lava fields, dodging erupting magma. The kid was clinging onto you, tiny claws digging into your skin.

The reptavian flew above you, leisurely stalking you as you ran. You knew there was nowhere to hide from it, not on the lava fields.

You tripped. Slamming into the ground, the kid flying from your grasp. You groaned, rolling onto your hands and knees. You felt around trying to find the kid, you could hear him crying beside you.

Gusts of wind blew across your face as the reptavian landed, flapping its large wings. It roared towards you, the faint light of the lava illuminating its fangs and beady eyes. You scrambled around trying to find the kid. You couldn’t see him or feel him. You screamed into the dark trying to get him to come closer. The reptavian stalked closer, hissing and screeching at you. You crawled on the floor trying to find the kid. You could hear the reptavians claws scraping against the ground, getting closer. It roared loudly just behind you, and you cower into the ground waiting for the final fatal blow.... but it never came.

You looked over your shoulder, the reptavian was frozen. A faint blue-grey light rippled around you. Protecting you. You looked for the source of the light and your eyes landed on the kid. His little arms were stretched out, his large eyes squeezed shut.

A loud bang rang through the air, and the reptavian crumpled on the ground. You could hear the sound of an engine rumbling overhead. You crawled over to the kid, catching him as he fell backwards. A bright light lit the area up and you shielded your eyes against the glare.

The ship started to land, the noise of the engine was deafening. The wind whipped up dust and you curled in on yourself to protect the child. The ship landed with a groan, and you could hear the all too familiar grinding noise of a ramp being lowered. Mando.

You stood up, and rushed towards the ramp, falling into the arms of Mando as he reached the bottom.

“Are you okay?” His hands ran over your face and arms, checking you for injuries.

“The kid….” You croaked out, voice hoarse from running. Mando looked down at the sleeping child in your arms. “...he did something. He stopped the…”

“Yeah I know.” Mando took the kid in his arms, and you followed him up the ramp. Mando placed him in the sling in the cot and turned back to you. “Stay there. I’ll get us in the air and then come back.”

Mando ran up to the cockpit and you slid down the wall of the hull, dropping heavily onto the floor. You could feel the rumble of the thrusters starting up, and the lurching off the ship as it took off. The lights flickered in the hull as the ship climbed higher through the atmosphere.

You glanced down at your feet. They were dirty and covered with small cuts and burns. They hurt. You stayed on the floor until you heard Mandos feet on the ladder rungs and you pulled yourself up, standing gingerly on your ruined feet.

He stepped off the ladder, stopping to press a button on his vambrace. The lights switched off, plunging the hull into darkness.

“M..Mando?”

“Can you see me?” Maker you can’t see anything.

“No…”

You could hear him walking towards you, you stretched your arm out trying to find him in the dark. “Close your eyes.”

You did. Not that there was much point, you could see exactly the same amount with your eyes shut as you could with them open. “They’re closed.” You whisper into the dark.

You heard a soft click, and the sound of air escaping coming from just in front of you. You reached out again. “Mando….?”

He grabbed your hand, pulling you to him, crushing you to his chest. You shivered, the icy beskar pressed to your skin. “I’m right here, cyar’ika.” His voice is different, it’s richer, and the normal robotic tinge from the vocoder is gone. It only takes you a second to realise his helmet is off.

His hand trails up your arm, over your shoulder and round the back of your neck. He tips your head up, and crashes his lips onto yours.

You melt into his arms, running your hands up the beskar chest plate and onto the rough cowl of his cape, pulling him closer. You hear the clang of his helmet dropping to the floor as he cups your face in both of his hands.

You pull back slightly to catch your breath, and Mando bumps his forehead against yours. “I’m sorry.” Mando began, “I should never have left...I just…”

You kiss him softly, cutting him off. “It’s okay.”

“No it’s not. I nearly lost you again.” He sighs deeply. “I nearly lost both of you.”

“Mando…”

“Din.”

“What?”

“My name is Din Djarin. Not Mando.” You huff out a laugh.

“I figured your name wasn’t Mando, you idiot.”

Din chuckles, and you smile back at him. Not that he can see you in the dark. “One thing, you cannot tell anyone and don’t use it outside of the ship.”

“That’s two things.”

“Don’t be cheeky.”

A stabbing pain in your feet brought you back to the present. “M-an...Din my feet…”

Din drops his hands. “Shit, hang on.” He scoops you up and carries you over to the cot. He carefully lowers you down before turning back to the hull to get his helmet. He flicks the light on and you blink in the bright light.

He came back with a tub of bacta and a washcloth. He cleaned your feet gently, before smothering them in bacta. You hissed and wriggled on the cot.

“Stings…” you mumble.

“I know.” He drops the bacta on the ground. “

Once he was finished you flopped back into the cot, and Din passed you a blanket. “I need to set the ship's navigation but I’ll be down in a bit. Try to sleep okay?”

You just yawn in response. Din squeezes your calf and disappears into the hull, switching the lights off, as his footsteps disappear up the ladder to the cockpit.

You don’t hear him come back down, or pull a crate up to the end of the cot. You don’t see him take off his helmet, his hand tracing patterns on your exposed calf. His eyes study your features, as if he’s trying to memorise them. He curses himself for leaving you and the kid. Din watched you sleep, the steady rise and fall of your chest grounding him to the present. His eyes started to droop, and before he knew it he was asleep, propped up against the wall of the cot.

At some point during the night you woke up, peering around the dimly cot you eyes come to rest on a figure at the end of the bed. You can’t see much, expect for a few dark brown curls and a sliver of skin. You freeze. Din. He wasn’t wearing a helmet... You shut your eyes again, heart pounding. You know how sacred his creed was to him, you could feel yourself getting more panicked. You didn’t really see anything though...just hair and skin. There was nothing you could do now, you hadn’t meant to look, it was an accident. He’d understand.