Woefully Beefless

love that fl lures you in with body horror only to stab you in the liver with identity horror. how many of your memories can you lose to the eldritch purple before you're fundamentally a different person? what if you could only escape an oppressive destiny by becoming a fish? are you really human, or are you actually a pile of spiders wearing stolen memories and a very convincing skin-suit? who can say

My mom: So there was a shooter at the correspondents' dinner- Me: Excuse me what. What did you say. My mom, with deepest sorrow: But the president is alive and unharmed- Me: Go back did you say there was a shooter. You're on the dog. My mom: I'm on the dog???? Me: Yeah you're on the dog

First test flight of a flying car by Mazda partially a success

I feel like the Arizona license plate should take some place in our analysis of whatever in the goddam fuck we’re looking at here

we are learning a lot about tumblr today

Boiling stuff might be seething, but barrel-making? That's cooping.

Fanmade card by bethberad on Instagram

Normally I do not give a fuck about my age matching or surpassing that of timeless fictional characters. Can’t even understand why someone would be bothered by that. However, in the new James Bond video game, Bond very casually and conversationally references SpongeBob, and it hit me like a fish fired from a rail gun.