Still Don't Know How to Pick a Fight, Now, Do Ya'?

Not to be vague but not again please

Growing up is actually all about realizing people don’t inherently dislike you and it’s a bit odd to assume they do

Even saying ”I’m so sorry, I completely forgot” sounds marginally better than ” I’m so sorry, I didn’t completely forget, I actually completely remembered. I thought about it the whole time and it stressed me out so much my brain built an insurmountable wall around it.”

barbie said fuck urban renewal

i love crossing the street in front of cars where i can see the driver is visibly annoyed because like. are you mad at me? am i making you mad? are you upset? are you gonna kill me about it? gonna vehicular manslaughter me? gonna split my head open like a watermelon with that big strong manly truck? are you mad at me?

are you mad at me?

still fuckin hate that “bee-free honey” that’s made from……… apples. bitch who you think sexed up those apples

A farmer, by hand and with love and care

wild bees still sexin em up when he’s not looking

old mccuckhold had a farm it seems

Five Guys is rebranding to Four Guys. We're not gonna tell you why

I'm so happy for her!!

one of my favorite things about christianity is that jesus died to save people from their sins and then every christian kind of immediately forgot that he did that. theyll come up to you like "excuse me you know smoking is a sin" like yes maam i know. your boy already took care of it dont worry

love that for 100 years people have looked at these beasts and thought “heehee what if the big one wore the little one like a hat”

I dislike this. 

You know what, fuck you [capsizes your research vessel to make it more steady when conducting research]

it IS a phase, mom

show me a permanent state of the self, mom

Impermanence does not mean insignificance, mom

The key to a happier life is being in a constant state of change and acceptance, mom