Idk

Wanting to see a new therapist for my anxiety but having too much anxiety to set up an appointment is a cycle I’m stuck in and can’t get out. I should see a therapist about it.

Having therapy the day after Father’s Day is gonna be annoying like I know she’s gonna bring up my dead dad and I don’t wanna talk about how I slept all day to avoid thinking about it

Just realized that mine and my gfs kids won’t have a father or grandfathers cause we gay and our dads are both dead… they’ll have one step grandfather and two queer uncles instead lmao if we have a boy I just hope no one comments on him having no ‘real’ male role model, also like Father’s Day will be so boring at our house, like who we gonna celebrate? The sperm bank? Lmao our kids are gonna be very loved tho

Father’s Day is always fun in my apartment cause my dad killed himself when I was 15 and my gfs dad killed himself last year 💕

The last few nights my gf have been wanting me to tell her bed time stories but I suck at making things up so I suggested I read her a book but she told be to just retell a book so I’ve been telling her all about fable haven to the best of my memory and it’s all out of order and she changed the name and gender of characters and it’s really fun to retell the story but she falls asleep so fast that I’ve told the same scene multiple times but it’s all ok because I mess up a lot. I haven’t read the book in a long time but it was one of my favorites as a kid and I still look back at it fondly and remember a lot. Once I’m done with this one idk what book I’ll do next cause I hardly remember the sequels lmao I just know Kendra becomes a fairy and Seth becomes a shadow

My dream is to live in a cabin in a secluded area surrounded by trees and wake up every morning to drink coffee on my porch while my German Shepard runs around free, then I’d tend to my garden and pick some vegetables for meals for the day and in the evenings I would drink some beer by my fireplace while my dog lays next to me, sleeping after a long day of running and exploring. Finally laying in bed after stargazing on my roof, no longer depressed or anxiety ridden because I am away from people and am finally living the life I’ve always known would make me happy. If I could afford it I would make this dream come true... I think my next adventure will be traveling around in a modified van I can live out of with my dog. I just need to get my license and save up enough for a van. I would like a remote job so I can work on the road. My other option is getting a truck and doing odd jobs til I save enough to move out of state. I’m really done being here. I want a fresh start somewhere green. I want to figure out who I really am. I want to discover what makes my happy. I want freedom away from the city. I want my biggest fear to be running into a bear. I just want change.

Making an animation series if anyone wants to join in on the process. It’s my first project like this and it’d be cool to have some people to work with. Dm me if you’re interested, we can throw ideas at each other and stuff. It’s about dreams and like not knowing what’s real.