okay so that title is very misleading. this is NOT about rigatoni pasta, this is about rigatoni. my friend.
last year, i signed up for art class as one of my electives. every day i'd scan the room for someone who could potentially be my friend, but alas, i was alone. i remained alone until one fateful day when the art teacher assigned us all seats at the various tables scattered around the room. i sat down, and analyzed the students around me. thats when i saw rigatoni. he sat directly across from me, and at first, i didn't think too much of him. i knew he went to my middle school, and i assumed that he was just another annoying bum popular guy. little did i know, he was much more than that. (kind of?)
we introduced ourselves, and got caught into this flow of conversation that drowned out the clatter and chaos of the rest of the class around us. we had so much in common. so. much. he taught me many things, like how to invest, how to play with those tiny skateboard toy things, and he told me about his life. a little about his childhood, his home life, his beliefs, and i shared a bit about me, too. he'd always compliment my drawings, and i'd always leave the class giddy and giggling with him. we'd walk to lunch together with the rest of his friends and i felt like he was the one. his friends were cool too, really nice, funny, talkative, it was great.
i felt like i could tell him anything. and honestly, i could. he was always open to talking about anything. and because we had so much in common, for example, we could talk about our shared "nerdy" interests (like gravity falls hehe). i remember thinking about him all the time, we'd snap frequently after school and i'd send him cute videos of me and my dog. he'd send cute videos of his dog too, a precious little yorkshire terrier named daisy. i remember walking into a store one day and seeing some drum sticks with cool designs on them, and the first thing that came to my mind was "wow, this is a PERFECT gift for rigatoni".
months passed, and we got closer and closer. at least that's what i thought. i asked him one day if we could go to publix together, and after weeks of "not today" and "sorry", he finally was able to go with me. looking back, i realize how desperate i was. i forced this poor man to go to publix with me 😭 . i'd ask him every. single. day. if he could go.
so we walked to publix. he held my bike for me, like a gentleman. he made me laugh. i took off my jacket. (very significant. if i take off my jacket around someone, yk i mean business). i bought a plain bagel. (girl wtf why didn't you just buy a pubsub 💔). he paid for my food. we went upstairs, ate, and talked.
honestly, i can't remember what we talked about. all i remember is "KNOWING" afterwards that he liked me. again, i was mistaken.
he got a girlfriend. he started skipping art class to go to the cafeteria and sit with her during her lunch period. he showed me a picture of her, and gabbed on about how perfect she was, and i was in shock. she. looked. perfect. gorgeous, beautiful, the type of girl men would fight wars for. to THIS day she still amazes me. i run into her sometimes in the bathroom as i'm attempting to fix my hair, and just wow. that's all i can say.
okay i need to stop rambling about these gorgeous women... to put it simply... we stopped talking. when he was in art class, he'd sit with his friends.
i had done all i could possibly do to attract him. i even started putting eyeliner underneath my waterline to look more alternative... chic... cool... but it didn't matter.
he ended up kind of apologizing later on? but this separation lasted for months. i was still hurt.
i wonder what would have happened if i just told him straight up that i liked him.
anyway, him and that girl have been broken up for a while now, and i think he's with a new girl now. it's fine. i'm fine.
but if he's not, i hope he thinks about me. i hope he remembers everything i remember. i hope he doesn't think of me as just this weird "smart" random girl he met last year. i hope i'm a little more than that.
i'm getting sad writing this lol, bye guys. love ya!
