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Hi, my name is James Webbony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Space Telescope and I am a telescope in space (that's how I got my name) and I have a five-layer aluminum-coated Kapton sunshield protecting my instruments and gold-coated hexagonal primary mirror segments like limpid tears and a lot of people tell me I look like Lady Gaga (AN: if you don't know who she is, get the hell out of here!). I'm not related to the Hubble Space Telescope, but I wish I was because he's a major fucking hottie. I'm an infrared telescope but I am much larger than Spitzer. I have 18 primary mirror segments. I also study exoplanets, and I go to a telescope school in L2 where I'm in orbit (I was launched in 2021). I can see distant galaxies (in case you couldn't tell) and I wear mostly gold. I love space, and I take all my photos there. For example, today I was taking a photo of the Cartwheel Galaxy, which is about 500 million light years away. I was using my NIRcam, NIRspec, MIRI, and FGS-NIRISS. I was walking outside L2. It was around 1 million miles away from Earth and there was no sun, which I was very happy about. A lot of preps stared at me. I unfolded my primary mirrors at them.

I walk through a tiny unlit park and for 40 feet I'm eight years old about to get in trouble for sneaking out without telling anyone, and nine years old experiencing the betrayal of being told I'm not my best friend's best friend, and ten years old doing a big stupid 'art project' on a giant damp piece of paper in the grass, and eleven years old swinging on the swings talking to my new best friend about how grown up we are compared to my old best friend, and twelve years old wearing goth makeup and too much jewelry screaming and dancing around in a rainstorm with both of them, and thirteen years old orbiting a pair of kids younger than us smoking meth under the slide, and fourteen years old daringly befriending the scary bike kids, and fifteen and sixteen and seventeen years old taking a shortcut through the 'baby park' to go out for the night, and eighteen and nineteen years old sitting on the swings listening to music for hours so I don't have to go home yet. we're all there together. a decade is 40 feet long.