soup with woofles

sucide note flagged as 100% ai

divorcebearing hips

you: jumps in the shower real quick me: steps into the shower at normal speed

Gorthoraxanax The Unending, Great Grandfather Of The Timeless Void: putters along in the direction of the shower, fairly slowly

me if i was lobsta 🦞 monday

detective cuck fujoshi? i spoke with your secretary pussy voluptuous. you're the only one who can solve this case...

You are my biggest fan

a mutual is a kind of girl you want to have sex with

They want to hubt me down and kill me forever for 1000 years for stealing the master's ruby but they dont understand that i need it so i can embed it in my forehead and then ahen i want to threaten people I can push my bangs out of the way revealing a big red gem and go "MY PSYCHIC BRAINWAVES ARE GOING TO DEFEAT YOU" until they start crying and do what I want. Thats what I need it for

Does the ruby actually give u powers or is it just.. more of a presentation thing?

Its 100% theatrics

one bed one bath apartment girlfriend in shower door locked is, also, a kind of. do i even need to say it at this point.

hm.

and i have detective's authority, allowing me to examine all crime scenes unimpeded

... and, what precisely would you be using this 'detective's authority' to examine?

how a heinous crime took place under your own roof within a locked room where nobody could have entered or exited while it occurred

the crime... that i needed to pee and couldn't?

precisely.

closes the door and deadbolts it.