Soup Gargoyle

Sorry this took a little bit to get to, Anon.

I don't live in a red state (Florida) any more, but I still behave as if I do. And given that I work on federal projects, I know I can be outed and ousted from my job at any time for being trans. Transition is a risk/reward situation that is unique for each of us and I personally have accepted the risks. But I also didn't commit to that choice until age 33.

"Safe" is a moving target that can only be defined by you. I don't think ill of anyone who decides to stay closeted or stealth because they feel that is the right choice for them at this moment in time.

You need to do a little mental calculus.

Would being visibly trans put you in danger of losing your housing or job? Would you lose access to someone you care for? How often are you in situations where someone could jump you or call the cops for being in the "wrong" bathroom?

How important is passing to you? Are you ok with never being able to pass? How about being cis-passing until suddenly, documentation or something else puts you in a Situation?

What's your financial situation like? Could you afford HRT if it isn't insured or you have to cross state lines?

What's your social safety net like? Do you have friends/family you can vent to, go to for help, hang out in a group for physical safety? What would make you leave the state?

And what is the current state of your health - is your dysphoria/anxiety/depression in a place where you need to transition asap?

Red, blue, or purple state, every trans person needs to have backup plans for their financial, emotional, and physical safety. Being in a red state just means that it's more likely you will actually have to execute some of those plans. And being in a blue state doesn't make you immune to transphobia.

Trans people are doing their best to thrive in red states. I'd suggest looking for local community as a support network and to compare notes - other trans people in your area are going to be a huge part of your safety net and we all need to be looking out for each other, regardless of where we are in transition.

Also, learn to be as resilient as possible -- get qualified for a variety of jobs and try to build an emergency fund. Be social, have some fulfilling hobbies, take care of your body. Even if you decide today that HRT isn't wise, the life changes you can make right now will affect how the next round of mental calculus pans out.

This survey is for people who have not done sex work themselves, to gauge both your opinions on sex work and how much you know about it! Click here to take it.

Please share to get as much of a range in respondents as possible.

(My local library has it in both hardcopy and audiobook format, hot tip!)

Basically, time after time after time, when we study crises and disasters, here's what happens:

people with power get afraid to do things because they might lose control of a situation (this is called elite panic and it's a whole different post)

ordinary people give zero fucks, and begin to help one another

Hugh Dancy reenacting The Ladder Scene™ at RDC7 2025

It CANNOT stop with itch.

Like y'all please don't abandon this if banned games come back— sex workers and adult artists have been under fire by this shit for the past couple years already.