i keep seeing misinformation about this, so: queerplatonic relationships do not have a set definition. the name comes from the idea that it's "queering" the platonic relationship, tailoring it to the individual relationships' own desires. it isn't necessarily romance lite, but it also isn't necessarily whatever definition you want to impose on it. the point of queering the platonic relationship is to break away from strict allonormative views on friendship, romance, and sex, not to make a new categorical box to fit in.
the answer to "what is a qpr?" is "whatever you want it to be." sometimes that is romance lite. sometimes it's a deeply committed friendship. sometimes it's friends who have a sexual relationship. sometimes it's based on an entirely different mode of attraction. sometimes it's fluid and impossible to put into words. it's whatever you want it to be. it's queer.
*waves* yes, hi there, personally helped popularize the concept here, still in contact with the person on whose Dreamwidth the coinage of the term itself happened (hey @kazaera how you doin' these days), just I got something to say here, here's my soapbox!
I cannot endorse this post any harder than I am doing right the fuck now.
The lack of rules is the point. Pick and choose whatever way for that to look that works best for the two (or more) of you. None of us could figure out a clear definition of what a platonic relationship, or for that matter a romantic one, actually fucking means. That means hey! Finger guns! You get to pick what you want to have in your relationship.
I will now step off my damn soapbox on OP's fine post here. Sending a term off into a bigger conversation don't mean I control it forever, but this post is so squarely in the center of what we were talking about over a decade ago that I wanted to call it out for once.
Hi Grison how are you this fine day!!!
I, too, cannot cosign this post enough. "Queerplatonic" is near and dear to my heart and I've been delighted to see it spread, way, way beyond my tiny little corner of the internet where it was born (a fact for which Grison up there is very much to thank!) Delighted to see it spread, but saddened whenever I see the definition get narrowed, because having a third relationship box to put next to "platonic" and "romantic" was so not the intention when it was coined and turning it into that makes it useless for a lot of people (including, among others, me). I'm very glad to see people like OP combatting the misinformation out there!
