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I'd like to start by saying that I love fics that explore alastor being on the aromantic spectrum, and I think it's awesome that aromantic people see themselves in him. If he ends up being aromantic in the show, I'll be super fucking excited on how they develop that.
That being said, as of right now, Alastor is NOT canonically aromantic, and I'm getting a little tired of people shaming others in the fandom who don't see him that way and want to romantically ship him with others. Fandom has no place for this purity/thought police BS.
And I'm gonna be honest, I find it a LITTLE suspect when people reference his lack of care for others, his disinterest in human connection, and his tendency to only humor people's affections as a manipulation tactic as evidence of him being aromantic. THAT'S why you think he is aromantic???? Why don't you just tell me you see aromantic people as inherently selfish "antisocial" creatures who do not have a capacity to care for others and be done with it?
The potential for Alastor to be aromantic is SO much more than that.
My aromantic Alastor grapples with yearning for human connection and feeling like it's impossible to be comfortable around others in a world that so heavily prioritizes physicality and holds romantic relationships as the gold standard above all others. The kind of friendship he craves would only be used to manipulate or destroy him by those who don't value it the same way he does.
My aromantic Alastor is very bitter towards Rosie, not just because she owns his soul and he longs for freedom, but also because she uses the facade of a friendship as a means to control him. He can't really blame her, though, because he's done the same thing with Niffty and Husk, and he has to admit, it does feel good to have that power to keep people close to him while knowing he has complete control of what their relationship looks like and no risk of getting hurt. It's not quite fulfilling, but it's safe. Control is safe. Rosie is very good at making him forget, at times, just how unsafe she truly is.
My aromantic Alastor was actually really hurt by Vox's request to be partners because, from his limited perception, that meant that Vox was just using their friendship as a means to an end to either expand his influence and/or to get in Alastor's pants. He's hurt, and he lashes out. He got carried away and now has to protect himself before it's too late. Friends? There are no friends in hell, Vincent. You just made that very clear to me.
My aromantic Alastor is NOT evil for not returning Vox's feelings. Can we stop with the trope of utilizing aromantic people's lack of reciprocation of someone's feelings to portray them as selfish or as the ULTIMATE tragedy for the other person that could have been avoided if only the big bad aromantic wasn't so heartless and broken? Don't get me wrong, Alastor IS evil. He's done plenty to earn that title, but being aromantic is not one of them.
My aromantic Alastor knew mimzy was only at the hotel because she found herself in some sort of trouble but did not send her away because she was still his friend, and if she was in danger, he was not going to turn a blind eye. He only sent mimzy away after he took care of the threat, but he did send her away because he knew she was only using him, and he felt the need to keep her at a distance to protect himself.
My aromantic Alastor does not personally like being touched, but he tolerates it to a degree and even occasionally initiates it because it's easier when he is the one in control, and it does somehow fulfill a need for him? Vox putting his hands on Alastor's shoulders is excruciating and needs to be endured, but offering mimzy a hug, while not something he craves, is something he happily does, and it does provide comfort. Part of it has to do with the fact that he does not know how to communicate his affection. He certainly can't use his words, which would portray weakness, but he can play along with social customs as a shallow imitation to the kind of connection he actually wants. Even while being touch-averse, he's somehow also touch-starved. Offering little bits of physical affection fulfills the need for connection that he refuses to acknowledge that he wants, and it's something he can enjoy when he can control it.
My aromantic Alastor saw his relationship with his mother as sacred because it was the one bond he knew wouldn't be twisted into something he didn't want. His mother was his best friend, and she seemed to instinctually know just what to do and not do, and she never took his struggles to communicate his affection as a lack of it. With her, he was content, and now, he will never see her again. He doesn't even know if he would risk seeing her reject him if, for some reason, she had found out about his sins.
My aromantic Alastor sees a parent with easy access to his child, but who takes it for granted. He wants nothing more than to throw a wedge there and force Lucifer to know what it means to TRULY be separated from his family. He HATES how jealous he feels over seeing the two reconnect, unable to come to terms with how much he wants it.
My aromantic Alastor sees how Charlie struggles with the separation from Lilith, and he gets it. He really does. He misses his mother and the comfort they shared every day of his afterlife. He stays quiet, though, because the cynical part of him is bitter towards Lilith, solely based on the CHANCE that she abandoned Charlie by choice.
My aromantic Alastor kept Niffty's roach crown because it baffles him how much she apparently cares about him even though he owns her soul. Husk is so bitter about his fall from being an overlord, but Niffty acts like being owned by Alastor is better than her time as an overlord. He was shocked when she showed up with Husk to help him fight Vox, and he stopped the fight right before she was going to get majorly hurt. Sometimes, he wonders if this is how his mother felt about him, but then he pushes that thought down as far as it can go because his mother was a saint, yes, but Alastor is probably more likely to take after his father, and Niffty deserves so much better than that.
My aromantic Alastor DOES mistreat others, and whether it is or is not connected to his personal struggles with being aromantic in a world hostile to that existence, that doesn't justify how he treats people. Eventually, he's going to have to come to terms with the fact that he DOES care, and he DOES want to connect, and his inability to be vulnerable hurts him just as much as it hurts others. Don't get him wrong. He feels no remorse for his sins and can't care less for the random people he encounters. But he would die again for his mother, would kill for Niffty, HAS killed for mimzy. He no longer finds the idea of Charlie failing quite as entertaining as he used to. These feelings, his wants, were easier to ignore when he was convinced that he didn't care. It made the way he treated others a point of pride even, but now? Oh God, is he truly broken?
My aromantic Alastor will eventually find out that, no, he isn't broken, and he isn't alone. There are others who seem to understand what he is experiencing, who seem to relate even if their own experiences and wants don't necessarily match his completely. He will find out that there is actually a term for what he apparently is, but he doesn't know how to feel about that because it kinda sounds like something he would have been institutionalized for back in his time. Coincidentally, it's then that he'll learn what Rosie meant when she called him an ace in the hole. He wonders if Rosie found joy in knowing more about Alastor than he did himself, mocking him for it.
Now, just WHO enlightens Alastor to the idea of him being aroace is up to personal preference, but mine, shocking absolutely no one, is Lucifer.
(Be warned: my rant turned list of headcanons has taken on a life of its own, and everything after this is basically fanfiction at this point. Even though it was already long, I decided to put the rest under a read more.)
As most things with Alastor, it started with power. Lucifer had nearly infinite power but no power to harm Alastor. That made him low risk. Safe. He was sure the tug he felt was just his need to seek out entertainment.
He liked to antagonize and annoy the angel, and he liked that Lucifer did the same in return. Eventually, he noticed that Lucifer seemed to seek out his company just as much as, if not more than, Alastor. For some reason, he is not as suspicious of this fact as he usually would be. Though he is able to put it into words when Lucifer, in one of his depressive fits of self-consciousness, asks Alastor why he tolerates him, and Alastor weirdly feels compelled to comfort him.
A friendship, if that is what they had, with Lucifer did not pose the same liabilities as it typically would with others. Lucifer had enough power not to need any from Alastor, and he didn't have enough tact to be able to manipulate Alastor either. He had a wife who he seemed to love despite her absence, so that meant he wouldn't want the kind of relationship that Alastor would be unwilling or unable to give. Lucifer also did not seem like the kind of person to cheat, considering he spent the last 10,000 years in a monogamous relationship with one person.
That last statement actually gets Lucifer to laugh because, really? Monogamy? Alastor really thought that Lucifer and Lilith spent 10,000 years ONLY sleeping with each other? They were both very comfortable with each other exploring pleasure with other people.
Alastor does NOT react well to that because that meant that Lucifer using their friendship to try and sleep with him was actually a VERY real possibility, and now that he thought about it, Lucifer's inability to harm sinners did leave him and his family vulnerable, but Alastor certainly didn't have any trouble with killing, so this friendship very well could have been a ruse to use him like some sort of loyal guard dog. It seemed he didn't give Lucifer enough credit.
It was Vox all over again.
And just like with Vox, Alastor lashes out, but this time, he finds himself ranting about how Lucifer is just like everyone else in this God forsaken reality. Always using, touching, wanting with no regard for what Alastor wants because apparently Alastor was the only one who wanted like Alastor wanted. And when Lucifer asks him what he wants, Alastor feels almost compelled when he answers: connection. Lucifer hardly thinks Alastor is the only person who wants connection, and Alastor makes it very clear how little he thinks of the bids for power, carnal pleasures, and sweet nothings people try to pass off for connection. Devotion came with the price of the expectation for more, and Alastor refused to buy into it like everyone else.
The pieces fall into place for Lucifer then. Lucifer asks if Alastor knew that there was more than one way of loving people. Alastor's interactions with Angel Dust made quite the impression of the wide range of acts people got up to. When Lucifer clarifies that he's not talking about sex Alastor gets annoyed and claims that despite the fact that he's from the 20s, he wasn't clueless. He knew men could love men, and women could love women. He wasn't repressed. Gender wasn't the issue. Once again, Lucifer clarifies that he's not talking about sex OR romance. Feeling like he has something to prove now, Alastor snaps that his mother loved him but she was in heaven, and he had failed her, so they would never see each other for the rest of eternity. Alastor was destined to be alone.
Lucifer: What about friendship?
Alastor: From my experience, friendship is shallow and transactional. Love plays no part in it.
Alastor tries to ignore how that much that thought hurts.
Lucifer: What about the kind of platonic love based on simply enjoying each other's company? Commitment to care for each other and stay in each other's lives? Devotion in the form of whatever affections and comforts that are mutually agreed upon? A lasting friendship that takes the shape formed by the people working to cultivate it?
Alastor:...Is that the kind of relationship you and Lilith had?
Lucifer: No. I don't think so. Honestly, I'm not sure I truly understand human emotions sometimes. The lines between romance and friendship just seem so...blury most of the time. Sure, within 10,000 years, there were times I loved Lilith with the full force of those epic romance stories, but most of the time, it felt like I was just trying to live up to what she thought our relationship should be and constantly falling short. Don't get me wrong, sex is great, and people are hot, but the... mating rituals people go through to get it feel pointless. Is it not enough to just exist with each other? Give and receive comfort? Does it all have to be attached to the act sex and what...overwhelming emotions? What even IS romance anyways? Why do people have to be "in love" to love?
Alastor: Well then, I guess there is at least one other person who feels at odds with the rest of the world. You must think me weak for not grinning and baring with it like you did.
Lucifer: Not at all. Even with the pressure from all of society, you never compromised. I caved to just one person's expectations. The first rebel, too afraid to be rejected a second time and left behind. I guess I was just delaying the inevitable.
Alastor: Inevitably alone. What a wretched existence in store for us.
Lucifer: But we're not alone! There are so many more people like us than we realize. We just had no way to communicate it. We didn't have the words. But humans are always innovating, and people like us have come up with a handful of terms to help. When they made their way to hell, I was so excited to be able to talk to Lilith about it. I broached the topic by telling her about this "new" thing called a QPR that humans came up with. You know what she said? She laughed and said it was cute what humans came up with to cope and that she was glad that we didn't have to settle for something like that. I didn't try again after that.
Alastor:...What the fuck is a QPR
Thus began a lengthy conversation about aroace terminology that, if Lucifer was being honest, felt like pulling teeth at times. It was like Alastor enjoyed being difficult or something.
Some time after that, Alastor comes to terms with the fact that being partners can mean so much more than what he originally thought, and the two decide to enter into a QPR of their own.
Every now and then, I come back to reread this, or at least parts of it, and I know I wrote it, but the line, "Why do people have to be "in love" to love?" gets me every time 🥺
Reblogging this yet again because I so desperately want to make a version of this for Lucifer. In the radioapple bit below the cut-off, I ended up writing a lot of what Lucifer was saying from my own perspective, which is interesting because I don't currently identify as arospec at all, but I was definitely trying to write Lucifer as arospec for this headcanon turned ficlet. I want to do a look into Lucifer's history of romance, friendship, and human connection, kind of like I did with Alastor at the start of this post, but I'm almost kind of scared of how much of myself I'll end up finding/inserting into it. Anyway, I'm reblogging this as a reminder to myself to stop being a coward and write the damn thing from Lucifer's perspective at some point.
As sad that I am that Teor died because he was one of my faves, but of the PCs, his death seems like the most fulfilling at this point in the narrative. With early campaign deaths like this, you usually don't get to fulfill your character's goals, and it feels like something with so much potential was cut short. Had it been anyone else, that would have rung true. Teor's goals were to reunite with his brother, follow thimble, and keep the falcon's cry alive. He died doing all three of those things. That's not to say that he would have had no place in the plot going forward, that nothing was lost. We will never know who Teor might have become over the course of the campaign, but his death was narratively satisfying. In the story that they are creating together, it feels like it was meant to be.
As sad that I am that Teor died because he was one of my faves, but of the PCs, his death seems like the most fulfilling at this point in the narrative. With early campaign deaths like this, you usually don't get to fulfill your character's goals, and it feels like something with so much potential was cut short. Had it been anyone else, that would have rung true. Teor's goals were to reunite with his brother, follow thimble, and keep the falcon's cry alive. He died doing all three of those things. That's not to say that he would have had no place in the plot going forward, that nothing was lost. We will never know who Teor might have become over the course of the campaign, but his death was narratively satisfying. In the story that they are creating together, it feels like it was meant to be.
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“Where are the trans men in history?” See. When you're born a gender that was forcefully married off, who had to live most of their life indoors, when you had to raise children, and had a lobotomy if your family thought you were a tad too odd, it's kinda hard to come out as a trans man now ain't it.
[Image ID: Tumblr tags reading: I have an ancestor who 'pretended to be a man' for years, according to my relatives he did so in order to go to school to become a doctor, and he was eventually found out and wed off to a man and had a family, and forever would be revered for being able to get a degree 'posing as a man', but apparently even after marriage he still dressed in men's clothes and preferred to be seen as a man, forever my lineage would use his wrong pronouns but not me, I see him and I hope he smiles upon me knowing I am living a life he would have dreamed just getting to be a trans man, without being forcefully wed off and forced to have children for the sin of being born with a vagina, such is history with trans mascs, I once saw someone online say:, 'if history has a gaping hole where a minority should be, it's not because they did not exist/did not contribute, it's because they were erased', and I think about that a lot when I see stories like my ancestors knowing that our history has constantly been defiled, just like this /End ID]
proud victim of the tumblr accent. it's fading out of public consciousness as the tik tok accent takes precedence; a linguistic evolution that makes the tumblr accent 85% funnier to unsuspecting civilians. it's like releasing a disease on a non-inoculated population. coughing baby versus hydrogen bomb.
[Image ID: Tumblr tags reading: i have no idea what a tumblr accent even is but I know it oozes off of me like a thick miasma, ive been poisoned by tumblr for far too long /End ID]
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‘project hail mary is about the power of friendship’ ‘project hail mary is about hope’ ‘project hail mary is about accidentally becoming too important at work’ wrong wrong wrong you’re all wrong. project hail mary is about what it would take for a single man in his 30s to own a fully paid off beachfront property in today’s economy
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I want to see more polyamory pride this pride month i'm serious. Stop being weird about people with multiple partners polyamory is awesome and beautiful and queer
I don't know what I'm doing @breealtair - Tumblr Blog | Tumlook
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