I don't know what I'm doing

Okay, so in this plot, Lucifer is the youngest son of an "old money" family in New Orleans. Because of this, they expect him to marry for status. Lucifer has a (unrequited) crush on his best friend, Lilith, who is the eldest child of a "new money" family that made its fortune in New Orlean's entertainment industry. She is expected to inherit her family's fortune and business, but Lucifer's family still wouldn't approve of such a match for their son because they consider "new money" to be of a lower status.

Instead, they arrange for Lucifer to marry Adam, a pompous foreign prince who has ruined every match his parents have set up for him because of his womanizing ways. Adam's parents have cut him off financially, and they have warned him that if he manages to ruin his engagement to Lucifer, regardless of the reason, then they will disown him too, stripping him of his title, and leaving him with no prospects.

When Lucifer and Adam meet each other, they despise each other. Lucifer loves Lilith, and Adam realizes that since Lucifer is the youngest son, they won't really inherit that much money to fund Adam's lifestyle. At a party Lucifer's family hosts to welcome Adam, Adam meets Lilith, who he thinks is way hotter than Lucifer, and she actually will inherit a fortune. However, he finds out that Lilith's parents also want her to marry for status (and won't let her claim her inheritance/take over the family business until she does so) because they know they are looked down upon as "new money." If Adam breaks of his engagement to Lucifer to persue Lilith, his parents will disown him, and Lilith's parents won't give him the time of day. Lucifer also can't break off their engagement without being disowned by his family, which would keep Lilith's parents from considering him as a potential match for their daughter either.

Even though neither of them want to marry each other, neither can break it off, but while Adam also tells Lucifer he isn't interested in the marriage he does NOT tell him why because he doesn't want Lucifer know he is a rival for Lilith's hand.

Enter Alastor who is a bokor (a male creole vodou sorcerer/witch doctor that practices dark magic). His shadow is able to get the details on both of the unhappy couple's wants, and so he approaches them saying that he can help them break off their marriage to cause a little chaos. After doing both their card readings, he offers to make a deal with them: in order for him to achieve his desire for entertainment (and a little something extra from Adam), he will give them both the freedom to dissolve their marriage in order for each of them to be with their true loves. For Lucifer, it is assumed that this would be Lilith. For Adam, this would be money (by marrying Lilith). They both agree.

This results in Lucifer being cursed to turn into a frog. The only way to break the curse is with a kiss from his true love if he can find them, thus satisfying that stipulation of the deal, but he's not actually told any of that. With Lucifer gone, assumed to have run away, Adam offers to save Lucifer's family the embarrassment by not telling his own parents, which will allow him to keep his noble title long enough to trick Lilith's parents into letting him marry their daughter despite her disinterest.

This was all according to Alastor's plan...except for one tiny detail...WHY WAS ALASTOR NOW A FROG, TOO!?

AND WHY WERE HIS FRIENDS FROM THE OTHER SIDE NOW ATTACKING HIM!?!?!

With no access to his magic, only his (now frog shaped) shadow still loyal to him, and not knowing what went wrong, Alastor assumes Lucifer is the key to breaking his own curse, but he decides not to tell Lucifer how to break the curse until he knows for sure because he can't risk Lucifer turning back into a human and Alastor staying a frog to be hunted down by his own spirits. He also cannot reveal the truth of his and Adam's deal or his part in Lucifer's curse without risking Lucifer taking off without him, especially with the fact that his curses are only reversible for a limited amount of time before they become permanent.

Knowing all of this, he plays ignorant. He tells Lucifer that he is not sure what went wrong (partly true), and that he is uncertain how to fix it (also partly true). He does, however, know of a Mambo (a voudo priestess who practices light magic and is community oriented) who lives deep in the bayou and who might be able to give them some insight. He is not looking forward to meeting her.

The two travel the bayou, and it becomes clear that the spirits are attacking Alastor AND Lucifer. At first, they do not get along and argue all the time, but they work together to protect themselves against the spirits and get to know each other. Lucifer shares his love of ducks and for making things and how he would make toys for Lilith's little sister Eve. Alastor shares his love of radio and how as a child he had wanted to be a radio host, but when he arrived in New Orleans to persue that dream, he learned the hard way that people with his shade of skin weren't given the time of day in that profession. That's what led him to summon his spirits. He took respite in causing chaos helping others achieve their own dreams.

The two also bond over their shared love of playing music and dancing, and, over time, they develop feelings for each other (Alastor's shadow ships them). Throughout their journey, they also make new friends (or pawns if you were to ask Alastor) who join them on the way: Nifty, Husk, and Angel Dust. When they make it to the mambo's home, she turns out to be Alastor's Maman. She welcomes them in to her abode, but she also recognizes Alastor's essence on the curse and realizes that he turned away from the light magic that she taught him while he was growing up and that he was now practicing dark magic...She is NOT happy about this.

When Alastor privately asks her if she knows why his spell backfired on him, she does a reading for him and figures it out. Alastor's friends on the other side betrayed him and caused the spell to backfire so that they could free themselves from his control, and now they are hunting him and Lucifer down in order to keep that freedom, which she says is what he gets for messing with dark magic and evil spirits.

When he asks if she knows how the spirits were able to double cross him, she also knows how. It turns out that there is potential for Lucifer and Alastor to be each other's true loves if the right stipulations are met (them putting each other before themselves), and the spirits used this technicality, along with the wording "free to be with your true love" to turn Alastor into a frog so that Lucifer could be with him. However, the potential to be true loves is not the same as actually being each other's true loves, and Maman sees that their relationship is still unstable and would not break the curse at this time. With this being the case, she keeps the how of it all to herself and tells Alastor that his punishment is that he has to figure that part out for himself.

When they rejoin Lucifer, she tries to play matchmaker (along with Alastor's shadow and their bayou friends) and gives them her blessing. Lucifer is happy about getting her blessing, but Alastor is extremely embarrassed and thinks his mother is way off base since he doesn't think Lucifer returns his feelings. When Maman tells them that Lucifer needs to kiss his true love to break the curse for both of them, Alastor panics because they don't have enough time to get back to New Orleans so that Lucifer can kiss Lilith before the curse becomes permanent. Lucifer interprets this as Alastor not returning his feelings, and assumes that must mean that they aren't meant to be, and he was basically being unfaithful to Lilith who probably was his true love.

One of their bayou friends, Husk or Angel Dust, suggest that they speed up the journey by catching a ride on a steamboat headed back to New Orleans, which might get them there in time. While on the boat, Alastor and Lucifer dance together, and thinking Alastor might be his true love, Lucifer ends up kissing him. Nothing happens, which kind of breaks Alastor's heart, but before they can say anything, they're attacked by the spirits again.

They make it back to New Orleans to find out that Lilith and Adam are getting married that night. Lucifer, once again, doubts that Lilith really is his true love and considers this a sign. Alastor tries to convince him to at least try because she was his best shot to break the curse before it became permanent at midnight, and Lucifer should stop thinking that the two of them might be true loves when he already proved they weren't. Lucifer asks if it would be so bad if they weren't true loves. Would it matter if they stayed as they were if they could stay together?

For a moment, Alastor genuinely considers it, but then he realizes there was no garuntee that the spirits would stop hunting them after the curse became permanent, that Lucifer wouldn't get hurt. The only way for him to ensure Lucifer's safety would be for him to become human again and regain control over the spirits, so he makes himself the bad guy.

He reveals the truth of his deal with Adam. How he made a deal with Adam to get rid of Lucifer so that Adam could trick Lilith's parents into letting him marry Lilith. How his stipulation for this deal was for Adam to kill Lilith's parents who have a monopoly on the entertainment industry, including the radio stations that rejected him. How he knew how to break Lucifer's curse the whole time. How everything since then has been to waste Lucifer's time so that Adam could marry Lilith and carry out Alastor's revenge until his mother revealed that Alastor wouldn't be able to return to being human until Lucifer broke the curse (that last part is the only lie).

He cruely asks if Lucifer still wants to be with him when he doesn't even know the real Alastor, if he could love a heartless monster such as himself.

Heartbroken that Alastor lied to him the whole time, Lucifer runs away to go find Lilith. Nifty, Husk, and Angel Dust ask Alastor if any of what he said was actually true, and when he says most of it was, they call him a heartless idiot and go after Lucifer. Even Alastor's shadow is mad at him, but at least it stays with him to face the spirits.

The other four arrive at the wedding, and the bayou trio create a distraction long enough for Lucifer to reveal Adam's deception to Lilith, which allows her to convince her parents to call off the wedding altogether. When they are alone again, Lucifer explains how he was cursed and that only true love's kiss before midnight could break it. Lilith is skeptical that kissing her would work, but she is more than willing to try to help her friend.

In that moment, Lucifer considers what would happen if he didn't kiss Lilith. Keeping Alastor as a frog would serve him right after everything he did, but Lucifer knows he's just lying to himself. He knows deep down that no matter how mad he is at Alastor, he still loves him and wants to be with him. He also realizes that with Alastor being the person he is, Lucifer's best chance to keep him would still be if he didn't break the curse. The two of them could go back to Maman's home and just be together whether Alastor loved him or not, but doing so would be just as selfish as refusing to break the curse out of revenge. Lucifer can't bring himself to do that to Alastor. He can't take away Alastor's choice, his body, his powers, and his safety just to make himself happy, so he kisses Lilith.

Once again, nothing happens.

Lilith apologizes that she doesn't return his feelings in the same ways, but Lucifer tells her it's fine because his heart already belongs to another. Lilith and Nifty encourage him to go find Alastor. Husk and Angel disagree, but they say they'll back whatever decision he makes. Lucifer is hesitant to find him because he doesn't want to force Alastor to be with him. At that point, Alastor's shadow frantically arrives and, through a game of charades, communicates that the spirits are attacking Alastor again. All of them (except Lilith, who Lucifer tells to stay behind to make sure Adam doesn't con anyone else) rush to help Alastor.

When they do find him, he's in a bad position, but he's upset that they came back. He wanted to distract the spirits long enough to give Lucifer time, and he didn't send his shadow after them. Alastor ridicules Lucifer for coming back to him, and Lucifer claims that even if Alastor didn't return his feelings, he wasn't going to let Alastor die. Alastor yells that if Lucifer really wanted to help him, he'd go kiss Lilith because the only way Alastor could protect him would be with his powers. Lucifer yells that, unlike Alastor, he wasn't a manipulative asshole and would never force Alastor to stay cursed, revealing that he did kiss Lilith, but nothing happened because, despite everything, he loves Alastor, not Lilith.

They argue for the whole confrontation, still protecting each other, until Lucifer takes a hit for Alastor and gets hurt. Alastor freaks out, and he throws himself between the spirits and Lucifer, but then the clock finally strikes midnight, and the spirits leave since the curse is permanently in place.

Alastor kind of falls apart because his actions put them in this mess. His bloodlust for revenge made him hurt Lucifer, and he's the reason Lucifer fell out of love with his true love and was now stuck like this forever. Meanwhile, Lucifer is realing over the fact that Alastor was willing to sacrifice himself to protect Lucifer even knowing he failed to break the curse, and he realizes that Alastor does love him. He tells Alastor this, and the latter confesses that turning into a frog was not part of his plan and neither was falling in love with Lucifer, but he's still upset because he has no power to protect Lucifer, and the spirits could always change their mind and come after them again at any time. They would have to live the rest of their lives in fear, but Lucifer says the two of them have protected each other for this long, so they would just continue to protect each other. Alastor calls him insufferable and kisses him.

Well, would you look at that. A change finally happens.

The two change back into humans, despite the fact that it's well past midnight, and when Lucifer suggests that Alastor calculated wrong, Alastor tells him he'd never do that and that it wouldn't explain why it worked this time but not the first time they kissed. With his power restored, Alastor pulls the spirits back to himself and banishes them away from the world of the living. Lucifer points out that if he were to return to his family, there's no garuntee that they wouldn't still force him to marry Adam or some other "high class" asshole. He suggests that they ask Alastor's Maman for any ideas and that she could brush up Alastor's light magic skills in the meantime.

The two, and their friends, make it back to Maman's house, and she is excited to know that they figured their shit out. When they tell her it only worked the second time they kissed, she reveals the selfless act stipulation to turn a potential true love into a real true love. Their decisions to put each other's well-beings before their own desires and safety is what did the trick. When they reveal they didn't kiss again until after the curse should have been unbreakable, she reveals that her blessing that she gave them was a literal blessing. It extended the time they had to break the curse, but she didn't tell Alastor that because he had to learn his lesson after playing with dark magic.

They stay with Maman for a while as she makes sure Alastor remembers how to practice proper light magic after avoiding it for so long in hopes that he will be a proper oungan (a voudo priest who practices light magic and focuses on community; the male equivalent of a mambo). She encourages him to build and nurture his own community and that the blessings he gives others will bless him in return. Alastor thinks this is bullshit, but doesn't tell his Maman. He does tell Lucifer, but Lucifer says it might be entertaining to see what could happen and maybe even cause a little chaos for the people he'd be spiting in the process. He knows Alastor too well.

During this time, Lucifer starts creating things again, especially toys, and he keeps up correspondence with Lilith, who tells him that Adam was left without a pot to piss in once his parents found out what he did. Alastor practices his magic by helping their three bayou friends (okay fine, yes, they were friends not pawns) fulfill each of their dreams (whatever those may be), and the two of them spend time together listening to the radio, playing duets together, dancing, and reading.

Eventually, Lilith writes that her parents are planning to marry her off again against her will. Lucifer asks Alastor to help her, so the two travel back to New Orleans, and Alastor uses his Maman's teachings on community to scare the shit out of influence Lilith's parents to let her decide who she marries.

Lilith is finally allowed to take over the family business. Lucifer "casually" mentions that Alastor's performative nature and ability to influence others might be put to use on the radio. He might do wonders if he were given the chance to host his own broadcast, even without magic. Lilith, in turn, mentions how Eve's friends kept asking her where she got her toys and were jealous to find out they weren't sold in stores. Lilith had been wanting to expand the business to appeal to a younger audience as well.

She offers a trade: she'd set Alastor up with a broadcast slot and let him prove his skill by building his audience with his own merit, and in return, Lucifer would be her business partner for this new project by running a toy store that sold his own creations. She sure does drive a hard bargain, considering that this trade will allow the man Lucifer loves to fulfill his own dream while also offering Lucifer independence from his shitty family. He takes the deal.