tonight,, we're drinking from the. bong

why do men have this eternal fear of being used for money they don’t have lol

And the words of the prophets are written on the subway walls and tenement halls.

okay unrelated but what was the funniest red flag in ur worst relationship

an ice cold beer topped with a scoop of vanilla ice cream. lying on top of the ice cream foam is a salted peanut. this is the angel. around him are sprinkles (his tears). this is "the angel's lament", my new cocktail

I like when the bus stops directly in front of you out of the line of waiting people and opens its doors. Chosen by the dragon

I hate this post. Ever since I read it I can't help but think "chosen by the dragon" whenever the bus stops in front of me or "denied by the dragon" when it doesn't. Every. single. time. That's a minimum of ten times a week. Do you know how annoying that is

call his pussy british the way that I’m innit

I was wondering what happened to this post but it turns out the fucking trekkies (affectionate) got to it

sorry.