死神

to love me IS to suffer me unfortunately. sorry about that.

as my final act of love, I will swallow every "please stay" and turn it into silence so you don't feel trapped by my ache

I wish depression were an emergency. I wish someone could take one look at how sick I am and go “oh my god, we need to get you to a hospital!” and then when we get there I get rushed into surgery and the surgeons say “it’s a good thing you brought her here when you did, this is a seriously advanced case” and then they put me under and spend the next ten hours pulling metres of long, sticky black strands of gunk out of my body, throwing it immediately into an incinerator so that it can’t infect anyone else. And then they could stitch me back up and I could rest a few days, and when I leave the hospital everyone can see how much better I am and they congratulate me saying “well done, you’ve been so brave, I’m so glad you’re ok. I love you.”

I have eaten several thousand dinners throughout my life so please trust that i know what im talking about

At least my fear of abandonment will never leave me