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the things you don't know could fill my vast and cavernous ass
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@soriginal-or-something
2d shapes have no sexy mystique to them. imagine being hopelessly enthralled by a triangle. preposterous
the things you don't know could fill my vast and cavernous ass

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Be yourself so ppl looking for u can find u
It was queerbait, actually (A repository)
(It's almost three am but I am fuming, I've been collecting these for a while, my evidence, I WILL write a detailed post about this in a few days but I wanted to leave this here in case anyone else wanted to see how fucking deep this goes)
HYPOTESIS: Nandermo is textbook queerbaiting, not in spite the characters being queer but BECAUSE of it. The ship was used deliberately by the writers, the actors and the marketing in order to bring lgbt viewership to the show with NO intention on ever delivering on their promise.
Also the show presented itself as queer, marketed itself as queer and went to win GLAAD awards two years in a row then proceded to have no m/m or f/f couples for SIX seasons. Their queer rep were just jokes.
WHAT'S QUEERBAITING:
(I hate that I have to use wikipedia and dictionary.com but the actual articles about it are behind paywalls and I am poor)
Okay on to WWDITS
Let's talk marketing:
These are from season 3, 4, 5 and 6
Season five:
The show is over, it had six seasons, where were my m/m or f/f couples? Because I sure as hell didn't see one apart from the one episode with Freddie, that's it, that's all we got. Apart from that it was just jokes.
---
But that's not about nandermo, you say, it's just about queerness, then what about this: FUCKING HEAVY HANDED NANDERMO MARKETING FOR YEARS:
OR THIS:
How about what the show's socials were posting, this is from season 3 or 4
Now let's see what the writers were saying (this is before season 5):
The infamous that's his boss moment came from this:
But before that we had:
This is Harvey in 2022:
Here's Harvey today:
And here's Kayvan in 2022
Here's Kayvan last year:
And today:
Please someone ANYONE write a fic fixing this
thinking about guillermo sticking around to watch the pilot cut of the documentary... that's the episode WE saw. so the implication is that our version of the show going to be exactly what the vampires get to see in universe. and that makes me so !!! because there are so many devastating things that happened/they did to each other/said about each other that the vampires are going to get to experience!!
guillermo being in love with nandor from the start. how many vampires guillermo killed protecting them in s2. colin watching laszlo raise him. nandor alone at the train station. drugged guillermo saying how much he loves each of them in s5. all the times nadja has stood up for guillermo. marwa kissing guillermo because of nandor's wish to like everything he likes. the sleep hypnosis. jackie daytona. nadja training jenna. the cloak of duplication. nandor at the wellness centre. guillermo getting turned. laszlo helping hide his vampirism from nandor. nandor going to space to impress guillermo, mourning his death, trying to protect him from the curse of vampirism, creating the ceremony to turn him back. just!!!! so many things I'm excited for them to experience in universe even if we don't get to see it

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The thing with this ending is that it is not much of an ending, this is why some storylines don't have a resolution, the big example being the one with the monster's wife, and this is because right now laszlo and colin are still looking for that head, there's just no documentary crew following them around to film this, and this can be applied to many other things. Like someone said in a post, they made the show in a way immortal, just like the vampires.
There's no conclusion to so many things because the lives of these vampires and their human is still going, and they're dealing with things we saw them dealing with even now that the cameras are away. They're still struggling with things we saw them struggle with, nandor probably with his depression, guillermo trying to find his place in the world, the guide wanting to fit in, nadja trying to learn more of the humans and getting another job, all these things are still going in their lives, just like one's own issues that don't get a resolution by the end of the year. And while I personally like this because it goes to show the message that the writers were trying to convey, which is that the vampires continue doing their shenanigans even when the cameras are off, at the same time I can see why some people don't like this, because we're used to getting a resolution, to getting closure, but this show did the opposite of that and I appreciate it, because I can't still see these idiots bickering about what we saw them bickering about in their living room throughout the seasons, which was the purpose of the ending.
This doesn't mean that guillermo, nor any other of the characters will not get their happy ending (whichever that is for you) eventually they will, we just won't be there to witness this. This is why nadja hypnotized the audience, to give us an ending, because there's no ending, this is the same reason why guillermo acts for the camera and acts like this is his good bye, but yet again, it's all an act, an ending for the cameras and the audience, but it's all fake, because their lives are still going.
There was not going to be emotional closure, because this is not a show, but a documentary allowing us see a glimpse of these vampire's lives and guillermo's life. And in like real life, one wouldn't resolve all emotional issues and what not in the span of two hours simply because a camera crew is leaving your house.
maybe one of these days guillermo will gain immortality by drinking some witches poison like someone mention and becomes a fucking powerful vampire killer, maybe laszlo and colin actually get to finish this bride, maybe nandor and guillermo actually get in some deep shit with the vampiric council for fucking, and maybe the guide and nadja do fuck too. we will never know if it happens, but we will know if it doesn't happen! (i personally choose to believe all this happens, but that's me!).
anyway! like I have been saying, it's ok not to like it, it's ok if you enjoyed it. just be respectful of everyone.
The thing about What We Do In The Shadows, which the finale (and hell the whole show) blatantly says over and over again and yet some people don't get, is that is this a true sitcom. The context will always be the same. The characters will always be the same. It's the relationships that change.
The show's been doing this since season 1. Any time they add in a status quo changing element, they resolve/undo it a season later. Jenna the Vampire and Nadja's human lover? They haven't been heard from since season 2. Guillermo killing all the vamps at the Nouveau Théâtre des Vampires? No one cared past the season 3 premiere. Colin dying and being reborn as a baby? He grew into an adult with no memory of his childhood by the end of the next season. Marwa and the Jinn? Forgotten after season 4. Guillermo becoming a vamp? He became human again 10 episodes later. It never changes.
But you know what did shift? How they feel about each other. Nadja and Laszlo started off season one on a rough patch in their marriage (and they'll definitely still have their ups and downs) but right now they're as strong as ever. Nadja has her dolly to confide in. Laszlo and Colin are now great friends/family and have one of the strongest relationships out of anyone on the show. No one could stand Colin in season 1 and he would constantly try to drain them, but now he's fully part of the family orgies. They still don't get Guillermo, but in season 1 no one had any respect for him. But now he's someone Nadja worries about and Nandor clearly loves him. The Baron and the Sire are family friends. Even the Guide has a place and is slowly becoming part of the family.
Do you really think season 1 Nadja would pick up on Guillermo's anxiety and tell Nandor to check in on him? Do you think season 1 Nandor would want to have Guillermo be equal partners with him and let him call him Nandor? Do you think season 1 Guillermo would have the self respect to even consider standing up for himself and talking back to them? Do you think the season one characters would want to have Colin hang out with them? Or have The Guide (and her head) in their house 24/7?
Guillermo's more confident. Nandor's more considerate. Nadja's more communicative. Laszlo's more sociable. Colin's more personable.
Vampires never change. They never grow or learn. But the found family can love and appreciate each other more and more. WWDITS is WWDITS, so of course they have to couch any authentic emotion in jokes and the monster trying to have sex with the taxidermy bear. But really the heart of show isn't the wacky situations they're put in. It's the core of them together. And the finale confirmed that they're going to be together forever, whether we watch or not. And that sounds pretty good to me.
WWDITS Finale thoughts from a Nandermo shipper:
Ngl I thought the writing was fire. I know we all wanted a kiss but I’d argue we got something way better, here me out
Going from this decade long power imbalance to a relationship built on mutual trust and respect (with the last thing Nandor doing in the series is prove to Guillermo that he is seriously committing to a 50/50 work load) is a really good story arc and I think the logical next step WOULD have been romance
I thought the writers were sending “HEY we love the idea of them getting together but we don’t have enough time to show that in a way that feels satisfying (they’d probs need another season of them crime fighting and building on that trust cause they got some baggage but that’s a fanfic for another day)
And that’s okay!
If we learned anything from this show it’s that, despite patterns, the vampires genuinely do grow. I feel like the implication was “they’ll get there, we just won’t be around to see it”
The only thing I love more than cheeky fan service is realistic well written character arcs and this finale gave us BOTH (idk what the other endings were but I got the sitcom one)
Listen I’m not saying I wouldn’t have loved a big romantic kiss and a “what does this mean for us” stumble into romance from the finale. I would have LOVED a final gentle hand holding shot but I also think the Guides monologue was almost a direct message to the fans “hey guys listen Nandors gotta a lot more work to do on the romance side of his mindset and we don’t have the episodes to get there so”
I mean they basically said “no matter what, they’ll head back to each other” and if that’s not canon idk what is
That’s exactly how I took the finale. They’re committed to each other but need time to figure out how to be healthier versions of themselves for a truer, healthier dynamic.
Like the documentary crew, we won’t be around to see it, but their lives (and love) are still moving forward.
i think part of what makes the guide and nadja compelling for me is that i genuinely believe, deep down, past the annoying clingyness of the guide and nadja's casually cruel unobservant nature ....... a lot of their tension comes from the fact that nadja feels threatened by the guide. hear me out (below the cut)
nadja spends a lot of the series bemoaning her lack of close female friends. she hates how everyone assumes she hates other women, she gets so excited over girls night, she has that entire arc with jenna that is both 1) a sort of healing for her own past awkward lonely self and 2) a way to connect with and HELP a fellow woman. and yet, when the guide appears - another woman! another VAMPIRE woman! someone she can commiserate with, someone who provides her an out away from the boys, someone who is actually an equal to her unlike dolly or jenna or marwa - she rejects her with swiftness.
and sure, the guide is tight laced and annoying and neurotic. and sure, a lot of the show is a meditation on friendship, and it is clear that our main vampires value friendship highly and don't want to just give it to someone like the guide (a lapdog for the council that tried to kill them, not to mention a complete outsider with shitty people skills).
but the guide loosens up by the time season 4 rolls around! she actively helps nadja with the nightclub and defers to her as mistress! we learn she was SO crazy sexy cool the other vamps forced her into eternal servitude! and as for friendship, the guide is their friend! she tries to help them (nandor's worldwide trip planning, nadja with the nightclub/dolly getting laid, fixing the sleep hypnosis for some examples), she is there for multiple antics, she pays attention to their interests (the fencing scene with laszlo is genuinely so fun) and she clearly cares for them. as much as they dismiss her and pretend not to gives a rats ass about her, they LET her stick around and LET her help and even ask for it sometimes.
so why then does nadja keep pushing her away? the guide is no more annoying than nandor or laszlo or guillermo on a bad day, and quite frankly she tends to be a lot more useful.
but THAT is the problem. the guide is useful. she is powerful in her own right (mist power / fucking around with witch magic / old and wise and experienced, more so than our main vamps). she may be a servant, but she is one with at least SOME sway and connections to the vampiric council. and nadja is terrified and jealous of that.
cause of course she is, right? nadja, the only woman for decades with a group of egotistical men, constantly fighting to have her voice heard and respected - part of her growth arc for season four is her unlocking that killer scream power! it isn't subtle! nadja jumped at the chance to leader the vampiric council, and unlike nandor has no qualms over flexing her power to keep others in line. she was ecstatic to be offered a position on the supreme worldwide vampiric council.
and then nandor constantly undermined her and made a million dumb decisions she was forced to fix. and then the supreme council put her in a useless committee where no on listened to her. and then she came home and had to deal with her family hindering her nightclub plans. nadja is constantly disempowered by the people she loves and respects the most.
and then there is the guide. sure the guide isn't at all liked - but she is respected. she is trusted with important vampiric council duties from day one of seeing her. she has interesting and unique powers. she commands all the wraiths with barely a thought. she is knowledgeable and helpful. even when our main vamp family don't like her, they respect what she knows and what she can do.
in many ways, i think the guide has the kind of unquestioned power and respect that nadja craves - and thus nadja cannot help but be petty and jealous and intimidated, whether or not she is fully conscious of that. (and i don't think she is; dolly's flight from home proved that nadja is not always in touch with her emotions, even when they are intense and impactful to others around her).
and what is the only thing she has over the guide, her special something the guide can never have? her family, and her ability to connect with people. so of course she uses this against the guide. of course she shuts the guide out and makes her feel small and rejects her over and over ...... because secretly she feels LESSER than the guide, and thus wants to make the guide feel lesser.
it is about power, it is about control, it is about nadja never feeling like she has a purpose and meeting someone who has had a purpose for centuries and used it to become smart and powerful in ways she only dreams of.
and of course, the tragedy of it all is that the grass is always greener. the guide would trade it all for a family of her own - for close friends and companions who care about her, who like her, hell, who just acknowledge her! her 'purpose' is a punishment, quite literally! and of course, she doesn't see herself as particularly cool or powerful, so the idea that nadja's rejection of her is stemming from jealousy never crosses her mind. she is a lackey, an overworked servant, a lonely woman desperate for connection surrounded by literal ghosts.
the guide and nadja are of course very fun to look at through a toxic yuri/clingy woman and uncaring object of her affections lens but i definitely think it is deeper than that and, quite frankly, more compelling.
Doodle Bob

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‘The Day After Judgment Day’
(CW Blood)
I really like what ifs, so I made this drawing of if Tina actually destroyed the screen in “Some Like It Bot”
Here’s a song I felt fit the vibe of this piece:
Soldier, Poet, King belcher children stained glass inspired murals for @jae-is-drawing ‘s DTIYS!! I had a lot of fun with this one :D
PART FOUR (14-17) 🍔✨
Slow buildup for some Zeke and Tina ✨ love em
Death Rattle Dazzle: An Original New Musical by Oliver Putnam
Only Murders in the Building (2021-), 3x10 - "Opening Night"
I finished this season of Only Murders in the Building and I think my feelings on it have improved? the last two episodes of the season were, imo, the best.
but I also have some "ehhhh" feelings about a certain trope that features prominently in the conclusion so. spoilers/thoughts under the cut

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i needed to read this today so im sharing it to all of you!!
Important tags from @parsio
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Worst part about this is I've only ever used that yellow square emoji once and it was just to see how it looked. This isn't who I am. However, in retrospect, I suppose it is
Reading through the notes is a surreal experience please keep adding more to fuel my effervescent consumption of non descriptive emojis