let my last words be our last dance

these days you cant even relate to morrissey because he was looking for a job and then he actually found one

ghost character that goes “oooooh” and rattles chains, and eventually we see a flashback to when they were alive and constantly went “ooooooh” and rattled chains, surrounded by regular people at the office

ok when i said i pray the tomb is shut forever i didn't mean with the fourth book still inside

Oat milk was discovered much more recently than you may have known. Like many now-familiar technologies, it was found by accident during the Apollo program when NASA learned what a zero-g environment does to goat milk.

Our age of strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is collapsing

i just checked my status effects for the first time in a while how long have i been Doomed for

just saw a chair so photogenic I had to reevaluate my feelings towards plastic furniture

ive got a scary math joke but im 2² to say it

If Cthulhu can be summoned by humans who are so far beneath it, why can’t humans be summoned by ants? The answer is they should be.

Well if a bunch of ants formed a circle in my house I’d certainly notice, try to figure out where they’d all come from, and possibly wreak destruction there.

That’s why knowing and correctly pronouncing the true name is so important to the ritual. Imagine how impossible it would be to not go take a look if the circle of ants started chanting your name. And they’re like, you can’t leave because we drew a line made of tiny crystals - now you have to do us a favor. And you’re like, let’s just see where this goes “yup, you got me… what’s the favor?” and usually the favor is like, “kill this one ant for us” or “give me a pile of sugar” and you’re like… okay? and you do, because why not, it isn’t hard for you and boy is this going to be a fucking story to tell, these fucking ants chanting your name and wanting a spoonful of sugar or whatever. And SOMEtimes you get asked for things you can’t really do, one of them, she’s like, “I love this ant but she won’t pay any attention to me, make me important to her” and you’re like… um? how? So you just kill every ant in the colony except the two of them, ta-da! problem solved! and the first ant is like *horrified whisper* “what have I done”

This is the best explanation for higher powers I’ve ever really heard.