Salvete My Filthy Degenerates

on survival

Went to take some pics of my tattoos but this seemed more fun. Wouldn't recommend wearing plate armor directly on your skin but damn if it doesn't look good.

Introducing the Brassica oleracea, a plant species whose cultivars include…all of the above. They all originated from the same plant aka THIS FUCKER! 

No, really. This thing has existed in Europe for thousands of years, during which time different societies had different culinary preferences, leading them to selectively breed for different traits. For example, a preference for the eating leaves led farmers to select seeds from the plants with the largest leaves, resulting gradually in the development of kale.

The real fun thing is, this happened on a vast timeline. Kale was developed over 4000 years ago, while Savoy cabbage was first documented just 5 centuries ago. And different cultivars developed in different regions across Europe and Asia, with their phenotypes and names changing wildly over time. (Fun fact, Brussels sprouts are indeed named for Brussels, the capital city of Belgium, where they were developed from a predecessor imported from Rome.) 

The list above isn’t even exhaustive btw. There are plenty of other ridiculous cultivars (such as the Jersey cabbage, pictured below), and there’s no telling how many other forms existed throughout history, and which would have counted as distinct cultivars, and how many names and groups they were separated into, and, and, and—and imposing taxonomy on the real world is a mess, basically, because the real world does not give a shit about making itself comprehensible or categorizeable. But still we try. Planet Earth has Hot Mess Energy, and would you really have it any other way?

Introducing Kalettes (kale-brussels sprouts hybrid), Broccoflower (broccoli-cauliflower hybrid), and Broccolini (broccoli-gai lan hybrid)

look at the kalettes! the itty bitty tiny kalettes!!! I absolutely despise this knowledge thank you so much!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bonus: Romanesco broccoli, which is not a hybrid but just….really fucked up cauliflower