All I want is food

today Meatball abruptly realized that there are refugee office plants in the kitchen (they have been there for weeks) and has decided his singular purpose in life is to eat them 

we put up a 4 foot tall step-through baby gate when we brought the plants home, but it turns out he can actually squeeze his body through the bars. not in a dignified way, mind you. but he can 

we have foiled him with a two-gate system: a short one with small openings that he can’t squeeze through, and the tall one that he can’t jump over. he is now sitting outside our kitchen door rattling the gates with his stupid little mitten hands like an animated ghost prisoner in a Spirit Halloween decoration 

update: we underestimated him

is this the same Meatball with the Hanukkah sweater????

tiny accountant harasses human, eats plants

i mean he has to find some way to unwind from his high-pressure job 

So how do you guys… get in there anymore?

well my original game plan was opening the white gate and kind of shoving my body through the gap between the wood gate and the grey gate and i am excited to announce that this was not a good idea at all

update: was woken up at 7 AM this morning by Meatball repeatedly taking a running leap at the gates, bouncing off the top one, and then sitting on the floor outside the kitchen beeping confusedly 

this is our current game plan. stay tuned

please continue to give us updates this is the funniest post on this site

I love Meatball!

Have you guys…. considered….. installing a door…

I have been informed this is not a copypasta so I’m going to need you all to give me a minute alone

I would die for that little fucking clown bear please let me die for that little bear

Okay but I’m pretty sure they changed the word “juice” to “goose” and I’m 100% living for this.

one time i forced my mom to play pokemon for at least half an hour and all she did was catch a butterfree and name it lowfat

isn’t hazbin hotel that game you play with the block people

i had a boyfriend on here and he told me he was a dj and we would sext and then he would tell me he had to go to work and he would play like… numa numa in the chat room

come to think of it… it was probably skrillex

im like a shitty anime dating sim…if i talk to six people i gotta immediately go to bed…if i go grocery shopping its half my hp

4800 players, Beethoven’s 9th Symphony Speedrun

its not even music anymore it’s just a shockwave that kills you instantly

mutuals since tumblr banned cock and areolas