just another Tuesday for the blade

if you're having trouble sleeping the best you can do is put a bright object close to your face and look at it for at least 30 minutes. if that doesn't work you can close your eyes but make sure to think really hard about a bunch of bullshit

Me after one cup of coffee : i am beautiful and fast

Did you know that um…. (remembers that words are very unnecessary, they can only do harm) …………

skipping the ad isn't enough...... i need to banish it. i need to murder it. i need to stab it to death. i need to blow it the fuck up.

let’s all quit our jobs and just go on walks

do you like my repetitive and outdated music taste

If Pikachu were real, it would not be a very pleasant animal. An enormous mouse that shocks you like an electric eel. I would run from these beasts

“Do dishes” and “take out trash” both require the use of a spell slot, vs “use phone” is a cantrip, and brother, I am a level one wizard

time may age me but one thing has been true since i was 7. i fucking LOVE looking at pitures on the computer

Fortuneteller, turning over the Death card: Don't worry. It isn't literal. It simply refers to some form of change. Me: Phew Fortuneteller; turning over the Gets Eaten by the Fortuneteller While Trying to Leave card: That can also mean many things

unfortunately i have free will so im about to make art that is going to appeal to basically 4 people. let us hope those 4 people follow me.

if i dont respond to a message from you i can basically guarantee its not because i dislike you. im just getting attacked by imps and shit all the time genuinely.

daughter (non-practicing)

sister (deadbeat)