the exhausted english major

sorry america but you’ve been really mean. and I don’t want to go to your birthday party in two days

so this post has blown up; turns out a lot of people feel the same way I do. If you're feeling conflicted or upset over 4th of July, I've compiled a list of educational resources and charities, both regarding US and international issues, which you can look into if you'd like. Issues here include humanitarian aid to Gaza, Ukraine, and the Caribbean, as well as reproductive, LGBT, BIPOC, and disability rights in the US.

what’s crazy about being in your late 20s is that you’ve only been an adult for a decade and people are really out here believing your life is over

don't ever look up what your childhood friends are up to now!!!!!!!!!! like girl you're a nuclear safety engineer. i put on matching socks today. we played tag a thousand years ago.

it's really gross how you can be self aware enough to know what's going on in your head but you can't actually stop it from happening. i need to grab it like a pigeon that got stuck in a house and throw it out the window. be free

Training my nervous system to choose an unfamiliar heaven instead of a familiar hell

If you start reading books again, you’ll feel at least a little better. I promise.

its probably a normal sign for the economy that all of my adulthood fantasies are like "imagine having your own kitchen living room and bathroom to decorate" "what if i could get on a train" "maybe one day i could purchase a sturdy pair of shoes" "i should save and invest in a single bicycle"

"whats your 5 year plan?" buddy I nearly go insane thinking about what I should have for dinner

do most people actually have a thing in their brain that tells them to drink water before their mouth goes dry and they have a headache. is that real. i have been told that headache is not supposed to be the primary sign of being thirsty but that sounds fake to me.

I think what’s wrong with a lot of people is theyr not eating breakfast. They’re starting the day with at most 16ounces of milk with espresso and riding on that until lunch time. What they don’t understand is eating breakfast helps absorb all the excess yellow bile that builds up overnight when they sleep and makes them angry. It’s basic humor balancing

[ID: Tumblr post from @cryptid-sighting: OP I know this is a joke, but just remember that if you go knocking on enough doors asking to see the devil, eventually he may answer. /end ID]

You know, there's this cliché that teenage boys always eat massive amounts, but teenage girls really aren't that different if they're not suppressed by diet culture and body shaming. Like, I was a teenage girl who frankly just stopped bothering to fit into mainstream beauty ideals at some point, and I would regularly make myself just one big massive pot of pasta and devour it completely. This wasn't even stress eating or anything, I just genuinely needed the energy because you know, I was a teenager and my body was developing. I feel like so many teenage girls think they need to eat as little as possible to be petite and pretty, but the truth is that your body is developing just as intensely as teenage boys' bodies. Eat more, please, your body needs it.

everyone eat more vegetables NOW!!! and mention the last vegetable you ate in the tags so we're all on the buddy system. I'll start: bok choy