printers behave like that because the medieval monks they put out of work are haunting them

daddydom ASMR but 5 seconds in he gets attacked by a cackling witch

i’m sorry but what the actual fuck

a cackling witch

the thing about piracy is that i know i deserve everything for free forever

Always bear in mind that there is absolutely no legitimate evidence that Luigi was actually the one who killed the insurance company guy.

Of course he wasn't. He was at a party with me that day.

Can we all agree in advance that, when Woke 2 hits, we need to make government penis-milking factories a reality, rather than just Jordan Peterson's paranoid fantasy?

I was too scared to watch edward scissorhands has a kid but I thought about how could a woman go through pregnancy with a fetus growing metal scissors hands it took years of theorizing, still without watching the movie, to even think that maybe he wasn’t born with scissor hands

maybe women are stronger than you think

Sorry listening and learning here

There are a lot of animals born with sharp claws or scales. The babies might be born in a thick membrane that protects the mother, depending on the species. Or Edward scissor hands came from an egg

i coul dnever be the captain of a ship. everyday id be like third lieutenant ..... do a backflip lol

The world's very last smol bean was harvested this morning

*at a family gathering* you’re all like coworkers to me

there will be layoffs

oh i’m sorry would you rather me beat an alive horse?