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35 Funny Tweets Everyone Should’ve Read This Week (May 23, 2026)

Awful full moon pic I took the other day 😂

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saintmarc

expressions-of-nature

by Nikolett Emmert

solilyqueen

My memory is shit but one time I was Big Sad, Heavy Boots and it was a late summer sunset and I was driving Too Fast on back roads and then I came across an enormous sunflower field and I pulled over and watched the sky turn purple and it Cured me

anxietyproblem

jamaicanhottiee

awww the loml 🥺

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thememedaddy

solilyqueen

Anxiety is having the first 8 but still thinking it’s brain tumor

My husband has been in this hospital for nearly two weeks and had to be transferred to a better hospital because our local hospital was at the limit of their ability to treat him. But some family is coming into town to help so I had to get some food in my house.

Apparently during extreme stress my grocery brain was like :

- 3 dozen eggs

- 3 different types of breakfast carbs

- $37 tray of sushi

Anyways I got Panda Express for dinner.

thememedaddy

solilyqueen

At least I’m funny 💅🏼

my-dailydreams

solilyqueen

Remember during quarantine when I drank a bottle of prosecco every day at 3 o’clock. What life is supposed to be like. 😌

God damn is Shonda Rhimes directing my 30s or what

#personal #lol

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depsidase

Very noble girl, very statue like.

She likes to jump up here when walking because like one time I gave her a treat so now we have to do this all the time.

#dogs #Murray girl #my best friend #every brilliant thing #finch app

sweaterkittensahoy

shout out to everyone who has any sort of maintenance job whether it's a custodian or a mechanic or a furnace repair person or a pool cleaner or a housekeeper or anything where someone shows up or I go to you, and my shit is taken care of.

big appreciation for the maintenance people

derinthescarletpescatarian

Huge fan of when I have a problem that I have no idea how to handle (or no time/tools/physical strength to handle) and I call A Guy who knows how to handle it and they come and handle it for me.

My husband is in the hospital for UC and they brought in a dietician because he is clinically malnourished and the dietician suggested the BRAT diet as though we haven’t thought about eating white toast in the past two months while he’s been wasting away. I almost ripped her head off and punted it to the moon.

#chronic illness

catchymemes

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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

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Nothing like not using my $60 shampoo and drugstore hair products to get the most beautiful soft, lovely hair results.

Just saw the sun for the first time since arriving, getting ready to leave of course!

#selfie #Savannah #travel #just girly things

Is it quiet luxury????

#OOTD #Savannah #girl’s trip #a girls life #quiet luxury

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