no fucking awoo. no awoo right now. its late. its not awoo time. its sleeping time. go the fuck to bed.

every fucking night, without fail, this post i made abt my dog gets mass reblogged by furries (and/or blorbo fans). and thats ok but i need ppl to know this is happening to me 

man you guys have got to stop getting mad at people for tagging your post as whatever annoying thing. tags used to be sacred. you weren't supposed to see it. it's the culture. "Stop tagging this as [character]". No!! You have no right to make demands on me!! I can do whatever I want in the tags. Just cause Tumblr decided to set up a camera in my house and broadcast it live doesn't mean you get to make fun of me for going "wheee!!!" when I get into bed it's my fucking house and my fucking business!!!!!

#'why are people being annoying' ma'am you're on the Being Annoying Website

We’re under a severe thunderstorm warning rn and my dad just opened the door to show my dog because he was begging to go out and it reminded me of that part in Dracula where Dracula opens the door to the howling wolves and Jonathan’s like um actually I’ll stay inside thanks

such a handsome strain of koi!

*shoves one of these raccoons into a sack in a cruel and ultimately misguided attempt to destroy the moon and depower the ocean*

NO

What nooooo I got to the last post and was like “where the f is the other half of the book???” 😭 I too want updates.

Hand mixers and Sewing Machines are Two different Types of horses

They respond well to a confident handler, but they can smell fear and will act up if they don’t respect you. Other horses include printers and hot glue guns.

world heritage post

It’s a Monty Python skit.

As a Michigan native,  I confirm this is all true.

LET LOVE AND LUST BE MONSTROUS.

i feel like Guillermo del Toro ghostwrote that

Practicing to be a life sabear

on closer thought, we missed the obvious conclusion that Twinkle is demonstrating his skills as a trained bearamedic