Fish pee in you

Imagine all the things I could do if I just did them.

my most toxic trait is i fucking love work gossip. i play neutral not to be the bigger person or take the high road but to hear slander and hearsay from every side. two coworkers complained about each other to me in the same afternoon and i nearly blacked out from the rush

goo goo dolls if they were in dune: and i don’t want the worm to see me

Dude was trying to self-domesticate again

sometimes you gotta bite the bullet and put "text your friend whom you love and genuinely want to talk to" on your to-do list because otherwise it is not getting done

honestly so glad this one is gaining traction. just saw it in my notifications and went "MAN ALRIGHT" to text yet another person i have been genuinely wanting to text back for days

everyone talks about how strong and great Aragorn was for refusing the ring when Frodo offered it to him as if this man has not spent his entire life dodging leadership and responsibilities like bullets in the matrix 🙄

every time i say velociraptor is very important to imagine a turkey-sized predatory bird and not the weird lizard thing from jurassic park