open ending inc.

https://www.tumblr.com/xowoso/805940705806712832/greatest-post-ever

its funny i've been thinking about this so much lately. like the idea of the past being a foreign country etc and how wanting to know what has already happened vs what will happen can be more engaging just because you have this mystery in the characters to reverse engineer.

I just finished reading a book that was a like. solid 2.5 stars but did a lot of reverse engineering of the past and it made me think a lot about how its such a difficult device to stick the landing on for fiction. like it's often really engaging until you get to the actual reveal of whatever has been kept from you about the past which is often really underwhelming. and i think part of why that tends to happen is that human decisions often seem really stupid when you already know the consequences to them, or feel anti-climatic when you've seen how a character remembers something. like this not-very-good book i just read really failed to make the actual events of a relationship live up to the way its remembered by the characters in the earlier parts of the book. but then also i think this is also leaning into the medium is the message of it all where in every single structure a story is written the ending has already been set, its just whether the author is making you deal with that or not.

What Christen does remember is Tobin, the week after the girl—Sarah, or Sara, something like that—had disappeared. She’d laughed when Kelley had mentioned the suddenly open spot in the class. She’d said, “It's not like she was gonna make it anyway.”

In Christen’s memory, Tobin had caught her eye in the minute after she said it. That might be made up too.

Did Tobin actually say that? I hadn’t imagined her being so ruthless and cruel, so I was surprised and intrigued. Also, what is the significance of her meeting Christen’s eye then?

totally cool if not! thanks for sharing your talent w us 🫶

this isn't going to be eloquent or complete at all but: I think my intent with that mini scene/memory was to show a wider feeling that christen was having about going back to studio company. the whole latter part of that chapter is sort of an unacknowledged panic attack, and that little memory is meant to signify that christen is losing her grasp on things and is spiralling a little back into the headspace she feels the environment necessitates.

the intent is definitely for the reader to be able to interpret it different ways — and hopefully to read it differently after reading other chapters etc. I will say you're not meant to be sure whether christen is remembering it clearly at all. she doesn't remember what the injury was or if it was actually serious or the girls name or even what she looked like but she somehow remembers a very specific comment tobin made and who she made it to and her expression in the moment that followed? doesn't add up! tobin looking at her could equally be an implication that tobin thought the same about christen or tobin realising she's been overheard and regretting it immediately, or maybe it never happened at all! the futility of memory!