Dear Civil;
It's Been Awhile since I Wrote, Huh?
I'm not Writing to tell you I still love you or miss you or Whatever.
I'm not sure why I'm writing at all.
I'm talking to someone else, Kinda? It's More like a Situationship sort of thing, Atleast for now.
I'm Flying out to see him, He Paid for the Plane Ticket! I'm Really Nervous, I've never been on one, remember? This will be my first time!
I Hope You're doing well and truly are Healing and Growing.
I Do Miss You tho, Late at Night When I Close my eyes, I Wonder what your doing, How your day was. You Were my best friend.
I don't hate you, I don't think I ever did. You Just Killed A Piece of me when you left And I've always been Drawn to the Angry Side of grief.
Sometimes I Wonder if you miss me, Sometimes I Hope you do, Other times I don't.
Remember what you said that day?
You said Maybe We'd meet again and Who knows what will happen?
I Wish I Knew if that was going to happen, I wish I could tell the future.
You taught me that No one is a waste of time and that's true; You Learn something from everyone.
I Just kinda feel like... This guy? He's Not a Waste of my time, But he's only something to pass the time, Yanno what I mean? I Hope Not? Kinda. I don't Really know what I want Anymore.
I Wish..
I Wish Things Were Different; I Wish You'd Have Been different.
But You were a Angry Man and couldn't Contain It anymore, it started to Eat you Alive, I Understand that. I truly Do, Sweet Man. You were drowning in Anger and Whatever Other Silent Battles you didn't share with me and I was Drowning in Grief.
Our Boat Was Sinking with both of us on it.
I understand Ending things, We needed too. But.. it still hurts.
I Know Deep down in my soul I'll never recover from this, My Own Name makes me sick to my stomach.
One day You'll read these, I'll be sure to send you the link to all of them before I k*ll myself. But for now, It's Just the ramblings of What could have been.
Sincerely;-
Syn.
















