Sicc Boiz

What if Jaskier was any mythical creature? Like Jaskier being a fairy, a Witcher, a magical bard in general, etc.?

What whump could he go through as he tries to hide it from Geralt? Could something be poisonous to him but not to a normal human so he has to eat it and ends up getting sick? Could he have some unspoken rule of his kinds that Geralt doesn’t know about and breaks? What could be the outcome of breaking that rule?

What about when it’s found out? How would Geralt react based on what Jaskier is? How would Jaskier act? How would Geralt respond if he had given Jaskier something poisonous to his kind without realizing it and that’s how Geralt find out?

And going on that, think about if Jaskier decided to actually use his Witcher powers to help Geralt and ended up hurting himself. So while Geralt tends to him he has so many questions. How would Geralt react? Would he get mad? Just be confused? Would he still spend time with Jaskier after Jaskier kept such a large secret from him?

What would Jaskier do after he wakes up? Try to convince Geralt he isn’t a Witcher? Would he just come clean? Would he be grossly cocky? Would he just straight up beg Geralt not to leave him?

And I feel he is pretty darn good at hiding sicknesses to and making very plausible excuses that can’t be called out until he is better. Like Crowley makes a comment about Aziraphale hiding his face from the light and even though it’s because he has a headache he seamlessly lies and says something similar to “Sorry dear, I’ve just been in my shop for so long and its so dark in there.” And Crowley believes him until Aziraphale is almost completely well and Crowley realizes that they’ve been out and about for the past few days at almost all hours and by the time he realized Aziraphale was sick it was too late to do anything because Aziraphale was almost completely better again.

But at some point it backfires and after Aziraphale has gotten nearly deathly ill he comes the closest he ever has and it really messes with Crowley. Like Crowley starts getting more protective and more “You just sneezes, I have to take your temperature” towards Aziraphale and Aziraphale doesn’t exactly understand why because “I didn’t die so” and after a tearful confession on how scared Crowley is for Aziraphale because his angel won't tell him when he’s ill that Aziraphale starts to understand Crowley’s fear.

Me: “Aw! Look at this baby!”

Me: Carefully draws him

Me: “He looks so pretty!”

Brain: Maniacal laughter

Me: “No, no, he’s baby, we have to be n i c e”

Brain: Laughter gets louder

And Aziraphale being the shit he is, is like cackling on the inside seeing Crowley get so flustered over watching Aziraphale sneeze. After that Aziraphale tries as many different sneezes as possible to see what gets Crowley blushing the most.

Aziraphale ends up figuring out that it’s long, drawn out build ups to loud sneezing fits that gets Crowley blushing but Aziraphale also realizes that that is his favorite way to sneeze and suddenly Aziraphale is like fuck. Cause he realizes that he enjoys sneezing.

So the whumpee is a character with electricity/lightning powers and the whumper captures them and uses them to power something. Could be a deathray that requires loads of power or an entire facility but either way the whumpee is getting used to power something. Just the struggling to get feee as they slowly get weaker and weaker, getting woken up each time their forced to fire their power.

And don’t even get me started on after care if they’re rescued. Are they traumatized and no longer want to use their power? Are they weak for a long time after? Do they bounce back immediately only to collapsed after they know they’re no longer in danger?

Like A is chained up and has already been manhandled by gaurds and everything despite not really fighting back and B walks in and is all “I’m going to torture you until you tell me what I want to know” and A is all “in reality you could probably give me a hug and a juice box and I’d tell you everything”. And B is just kinda “Okay I’ll try it” and the touch starved A sells out their entire team for a juice box and ends up becoming B’s sidekick/pet/etc. and is a lot happier with a more nurturing relationship than with their old team

After that the whumper watched from afar to watch the group scramble to help them but instead the group just kind of leaves that person somewhere and doesn’t react otherwise. Like the whumper hears things said to the whumpee like “we’re trying to get out stop whining.” Or “it’s just a broken leg stop being a baby.” Or something along those lines and just comes back and takes he whumpee.

At first the whumpee is terrified because this person just attacked them earlier but then they start to relax a little when they’re laid on a soft bed and the whumper starts treatment. As they continue treating the whumpee they’re completely disgusted at how the team has treated a member. Like the whumpee is given tea and murmurs to themselves “I don’t have to make my own tea?” Or the whumpee gets pushed back into bed when they try to get up and the whumper hears “I can stay in bed?”

I feel like Aziraphale probably has different types of sneezes. Like if he is just sneezing because of the pollen in the air or because of the dust around the shop, it’s loud and satisfying but if he’s sneezing because he’s sick then it’s small kitten sneezes that come in groups.