I really like rice

For anyone who wants to understand me and other people with Bipolar a little better.

This is something I’ve wanted to write for awhile and frankly should have a long time ago. Bipolar disorder is such a big drawback in my life and others. Unless you have bipolar disorder you will never completely understand what it’s like to have it. Although I have this illness, that doesn’t mean I can’t live my life how I want to. For anyone who is not familiar with BD, it is an illness…

Sleeping Your Life Away

Throughout phases of my adult life I’ve found myself sleeping my life away. No I’m not talking the every once in awhile 10 hour “nap.” I’m talking sleeping for days on end. I would go to sleep and wake up 2 and a half days later wondering what day it was. If it was morning or night and that’s why it was dark outside, I’d have no idea. Sleeping had become a way for me to avoid my life. I felt that…

Over the past year or so I’ve been having recurring dreams. These dreams make me feel guilty, they bring me down everyday. They all have the same concept, and same outcome. I suppose it’s just a part of letting go.  It’s not easy when you lose someone that means so much to you. At first I never thought I was going to recover from the loss of a friend. It hurt inside, every day. All I could focus…

The story of lindsay, written just before her suicide, I felt the need to share her story because personally I relate to it so much and I think she deserves to be heard. Rest in peace Lindsay, you will not be forgotten. Lindsay’s Story ~ My name is Lindsay I’m 24 and from Holland, MI. I am graduated from Holland High and Careerline Tech Center in 2011. I joined the Army as a Medic in 2012 and…

The Right to Give Up [TRIGGER WARNING]

This year I have thought a lot about suicide. How it could help me get rid of these horrible thoughts going on in my head. How it could help me stop these feelings. I keep thinking to myself, why should I not be allowed to give up on myself if other people can? I have had so many people give up on me this year, too many, and it hurts so much. I’m trying so hard to get better and improve my well…

Guilt For Breakfast, Lunch, and Dinner

Wake up in the morning, feel guilty. Get ready for your day, feel guilty. Eat breakfast, feel guilty. Go to work, feel guilty. Eat lunch, feel guilty. Keep working, feel- I think you know where I’m going with this. It’s like you’re eating to feed your guilt, waking up to feel remorse, living to regret. It’s hard to get rid of this feeling that drains you. For the past 6 months I have been…

The Art/Tragedy Of Repressing Memories

Is it really an art? I’d say it’s more of a tragedy. While repressing memories can seem like a useful property of human nature, it can take an emotional and deeper toll on people than remembering the event that was subdued. I didn’t think repression could happen to me. It was just something I could not fathom. That was until my junior year in high school when I remembered a tragic life event that…